The gals at Candied Ginger and I share a fondness for Louise Gluck, and I can’t think why she hasn’t provided one of my Thursday poems before. This is easily my favorite of hers.
The Mirror
Watching you in the mirror I wonder
what it is like to be so beautiful
and why you do not love
but cut yourself, shaving
like a blind man. I think you let me stare
so you can turn against yourself
with greater violence,
needing to show me how you scrape the flesh away
scornfully and without hesitation
until I see you correctly,
as a man bleeding, not
the reflection I desire.
We know darned well that men frequently see only the desired reflection when they gaze at women; Gluck makes clear that women are prone to the same misperception and distortion. That need to be seen "correctly" is a powerful one indeed! Lots of good stuff to reflect on around image, relationship, sexuality — and woundedness.
On a more practical note, i wonder why men do not do their shaving in the shower like women. The effect of the steam and water would prevent more mishaps.
Amen, sister — I’m with you. On the other hand, some men like to look at themselves while shaving, and those shower mirrors are never quite the same…
On “Queer Eye” they are always bemoaning that men don’t do this. I think some guys like the slight roughness on their chin from a hasty and badly done shave. Makes ‘em feel manly. But they are harder to kiss that way.