Dylan wrote beneath my Monday post on the fast that she was concerned about my publicly posting pictures of All Saints teens. As she suggested might be the case, our church does indeed have a policy against publishing photographs of our teens, and I have hidden the album that had been up since Monday. (For the youth group kids, you can still email me and I’ll send them to you directly.) Just when I think I know all there is to know about youth work, I find out something new. Thanks, Dylan, for raising the issue!
In the comments below this post we have gotten sidetracked into a discussion of what is "natural", and I’ve been forced to admit that when it comes to the discussion of the biological explanations for earlier adolescent development, I am at a loss. It’s also unfortunate, because I agree with what most of the commenters are saying, which is that we have to do as much as possible to address the social factors that lead to the early sexualization of adolescents.
It’s a busy day, and so I don’t have much time to work up a good post. I am reminded, just from the comments section, of how many very young women experience being objectified by much older men. The stories the commenters relate match those I hear from my students. We have a culture that celebrates the erotic potential of those still in puberty, and sees children as appropriate fodder for male fantasy (and in the worst cases, male action.) It’s absurd to place the blame on either girls’ bodies or the fashions they wear without challenging men to change the way in which they respond to the young and the vulnerable.
I don’t know how to work with pedophiles. I’m not trained for it. Those folks require a specialized kind of care that most men’s movement activists cannot provide. But I do know how to work with "normal guys" who might find themselves responding with sexual arousal to teenage girls. It’s these men, fellows whose conscience is alive and well, who can be reached. It’s those men I’m interested in targeting and challenging. I’m not asking them to deny their sexual responses; I’m asking them to channel those urges towards more appropriate outlets. On a basic level, that means working to help men "de-eroticize"adolescents and helping them to respond enthusiastically (with arousal and desire) to adult women whose agency and maturity matches their own. (Ideally, of course, that sexual energy — even in thought — would be devoted almost entirely to their partner.) Beyond peer-to-peer mentoring and prayer, I don’t quite know how to accomplish that. But I am damn sure it’s a worthy goal!
More another time.
since Janell’s post about the very free worship leader, i have been trying to figure out what it means to acknowledge and even celebrate other’s sexuality, without channeling our own precious energy toward the wrong people (as in, not our partners). I am speciafically interested in the church, but I am coming up at a loss as to how that balance might work itself out. maybe you should do the thinking for me and post on it as a follow-up. =)
Oh, that is a good idea, Erica. Not one to do in haste, either.