Comments on: Thoughts on the show and the false charge of the declining libido http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:04:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Jane Langdon http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10073 Jane Langdon Tue, 05 Apr 2005 00:51:05 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10073 “Cat Fight” Now Playing I recently sent a Press Release to Amy Alkon who writes a syndicated column called "Advice Goddess" and got a diatribe about our company on her website. The statements are false. Here are some of her nasty comments. For complete text see AdviceGoddess.com. So I have published an amusing Blog about her at www.sew-beautiful.us/concreep Amy...The following statements you made about me and our company, Sew Beautiful, www.sew-beautiful.us on your Blog are libelous and they are false. You have no basis for making these remarks. Here are Amy’s remarks... "I especially love your argument that your customers like it. I'm sure the guy who gets a stolen TV really cheaply from a fence is thrilled as well. "DOES Chanel really know what you're doing? I doubt it." "I'm loath to believe anything you say" "...there's much you're doing that's illegal" "Your rationalization of it is absolutely disgusting" "Clearly, you are utterly unconcerned with much but making a profit." "Your business practices make me retch, and your disrespect for others' creative work and intellectual property is creepy." "Hey, there were lots of Nazis in WWII. Doesn't make it right to murder Jews, homosexuals, and gypsies. "Everybody's doing it" doesn't make it moral. What's so disturbing is the energy you put into defending your taking the work of others and profiting from it. All of the above knockoff artists sicken me. It's wrong to profit from work that is not yours -- whether or not there's some hole in the fence of the law that permits you to sneak through and do it." Amy I am sorry we have had such a negative correspondence about my site. I am really a good person who wanted to help people who had trouble taking their medications. My sister-in-law has Parkinson's. It all started with our PILL PROOF kit and just expanded from there. I was in a bad car accident and was unable to work for 10 years from a back injury. My doctor said I should start an internet business so I would be able to work around my injury. I never thought I would have so many businesses. I am truly blessed and mean no bad will towards you. Jane Langdon www.sew-beautiful.us/concreep www.sew-beautiful.us/yournetstores Complete Text http://www.advicegoddess.com/goddessblog.html http://www.advicegoddess.com/mt/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=1376 “Cat Fight” Now Playing

I recently sent a Press Release to Amy Alkon who writes a
syndicated column called “Advice Goddess” and got a
diatribe about our company on her website. The statements are false.

Here are some of her nasty comments. For complete text see
AdviceGoddess.com.
So I have published an amusing Blog about her at
http://www.sew-beautiful.us/concreep

Amy…The following statements you made about me and our
company, Sew Beautiful, http://www.sew-beautiful.us on
your Blog are libelous and they are false. You have no basis
for making these remarks. Here are Amy’s remarks…

“I especially love your argument that your customers like it.
I’m sure the guy who gets a stolen TV really cheaply from a
fence is thrilled as well.

“DOES Chanel really know what you’re doing? I doubt it.”
“I’m loath to believe anything you say”

“…there’s much you’re doing that’s illegal”
“Your rationalization of it is absolutely disgusting”
“Clearly, you are utterly unconcerned with much but
making a profit.”

“Your business practices make me retch, and your
disrespect for others’ creative work and intellectual property
is creepy.”

“Hey, there were lots of Nazis in WWII. Doesn’t make it right to murder Jews, homosexuals, and gypsies.
“Everybody’s doing it” doesn’t make it moral. What’s so
disturbing is the energy you put into defending your taking
the work of others and profiting from it. All of the above
knockoff artists sicken me. It’s wrong to profit from work
that is not yours — whether or not there’s some hole in the
fence of the law that permits you to sneak through and do it.”

Amy
I am sorry we have had such a negative
correspondence about my site. I am really a good person
who wanted to help people who had trouble taking their
medications. My sister-in-law has Parkinson’s. It all started
with our PILL PROOF kit and just expanded from there. I
was in a bad car accident and was unable to work for 10
years from a back injury. My doctor said I should start an
internet business so I would be able to work around my
injury. I never thought I would have so many businesses. I
am truly blessed and mean no bad will towards you.

Jane Langdon

http://www.sew-beautiful.us/concreep

http://www.sew-beautiful.us/yournetstores

Complete Text
http://www.advicegoddess.com/goddessblog.html
http://www.advicegoddess.com/mt/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=1376

]]> By: Jane Langdon http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10072 Jane Langdon Thu, 31 Mar 2005 20:40:32 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10072 I recently sent a Press Release to Amy Alkon who writes a syndicated column called "Advice Goddess" and got a diatribe about our company on her website. Here are some of her nasty comments. For complete text see AdviceGoddess.com at http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2005/03/a_fittin g_busin_1.html The following statements you made about me and our company, Sew Beautiful, (www.sew-beautiful.us) on your Blog are libelous and they are false. You have no basis for making these remarks. Amy wrote.. "I especially love your argument that your customers like it. I'm sure the guy who gets a stolen TV really cheaply from a fence is thrilled as well. "DOES Chanel really know what you're doing? I doubt it." "I'm loath to believe anything you say" "...there's much you're doing that's illegal" "Your rationalization of it is absolutely disgusting" "Clearly, you are utterly unconcerned with much but making a profit." "Your business practices make me retch, and your disrespect for others' creative work and intellectual property is creepy." "Hey, there were lots of Nazis in WWII. Doesn't make it right to murder Jews, homosexuals, and gypsies. "Everybody's doing it" doesn't make it moral. What's so disturbing is the energy you put into defending your taking the work of others and profiting from it. All of the above knockoff artists sicken me. It's wrong to profit from work that is not yours -- whether or not there's some hole in the fence of the law that permits you to sneak through and do it." I recently sent a Press Release to Amy Alkon who writes a
syndicated column called “Advice Goddess” and got a
diatribe about our company on her website.

Here are some of her nasty comments. For complete text
see AdviceGoddess.com at
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2005/03/a_fittin
g_busin_1.html

The following statements you made about me and our
company, Sew Beautiful, (www.sew-beautiful.us) on
your Blog are libelous and they are false. You have no
basis for making these remarks.

Amy wrote..

“I especially love your argument that your customers like
it. I’m sure the guy who gets a stolen TV really cheaply
from a fence is thrilled as well.

“DOES Chanel really know what you’re doing? I doubt it.”
“I’m loath to believe anything you say”

“…there’s much you’re doing that’s illegal”
“Your rationalization of it is absolutely disgusting”
“Clearly, you are utterly unconcerned with much but
making a profit.”

“Your business practices make me retch, and your
disrespect for others’ creative work and intellectual
property is creepy.”

“Hey, there were lots of Nazis in WWII. Doesn’t make it
right to murder Jews, homosexuals, and gypsies.
“Everybody’s doing it” doesn’t make it moral. What’s so
disturbing is the energy you put into defending your
taking the work of others and profiting from it. All of the
above knockoff artists sicken me. It’s wrong to profit from
work that is not yours — whether or not there’s some hole
in the fence of the law that permits you to sneak through
and do it.”

]]> By: Anonymous http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10071 Anonymous Mon, 28 Mar 2005 14:38:11 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10071 For those considering having casual sex because it is seen as "down with patriarchal sexual conservatism" and the done thing in your general environs, let me just say that on reading Emily and bmmg's statements about being virgins, I felt a strong twinge of regret for my sexual behavior in high school and college. I have been married for three years now, and it is only in the context of working to shift my concept of hot sex from "drunken hook-up with one of the guys in the band" to "being with someone you love but also know about their bathroom habits" (no small picnic, that), that I am beginning to understand how damaging my earlier behavior was to my own sense of self and empowerment and sexual identity. It's like the virgin-whore dichotomy was inside my own head! Hard to get as frisky on your honeymoon when the idea of married sex makes you think of 50s couples in separate beds. I'm having to work really hard on integrating the sober, married part of me with the sexual part of me and although I am getting there, through the use of all sorts of stereotypical things, like lingerie and baths and little games, I wouldn't wish this process on anyone else. The whole getting drunk to lose my inhibitions thing wasn't great for my self-esteem either and almost developed into a serious alcohol problem until I got it under control. So although I thought when I was younger how "lame" I would be if I didn't treat sex like a casual fun thing with no strings attached (I used to tell people it was like tennis, a fun way to spend a couple hours and get your endorphin levels up), I really wish I hadn't been afraid to at least try being "lame" for a little while. Who knows, I might have liked it and avoided some future problems to boot. For those considering having casual sex because it is seen as “down with patriarchal sexual conservatism” and the done thing in your general environs, let me just say that on reading Emily and bmmg’s statements about being virgins, I felt a strong twinge of regret for my sexual behavior in high school and college. I have been married for three years now, and it is only in the context of working to shift my concept of hot sex from “drunken hook-up with one of the guys in the band” to “being with someone you love but also know about their bathroom habits” (no small picnic, that), that I am beginning to understand how damaging my earlier behavior was to my own sense of self and empowerment and sexual identity. It’s like the virgin-whore dichotomy was inside my own head! Hard to get as frisky on your honeymoon when the idea of married sex makes you think of 50s couples in separate beds. I’m having to work really hard on integrating the sober, married part of me with the sexual part of me and although I am getting there, through the use of all sorts of stereotypical things, like lingerie and baths and little games, I wouldn’t wish this process on anyone else.

The whole getting drunk to lose my inhibitions thing wasn’t great for my self-esteem either and almost developed into a serious alcohol problem until I got it under control. So although I thought when I was younger how “lame” I would be if I didn’t treat sex like a casual fun thing with no strings attached (I used to tell people it was like tennis, a fun way to spend a couple hours and get your endorphin levels up), I really wish I hadn’t been afraid to at least try being “lame” for a little while. Who knows, I might have liked it and avoided some future problems to boot.

]]> By: mythago http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10070 mythago Wed, 23 Mar 2005 12:07:25 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10070 Hugo, you yourself said (in response to a comment I made about how MRA types seem bewilderingly homophobic) that, on your first appearance on his show, Glenn had made a snide comment about gay men in response to something you'd said. <i>the general consensus that sexual conservatism was something invented in order to keep women down, and you're buying into the patriarchy if you agree with it</i> There have always been men who pushed this argument, by the way. "You're not uptight, babe, are you?" was around in the 1960s. Regardless, it's not the behavior, but the reason. Being a virgin because you choose to be and are happy with it is far different than being a virgin because sex is something men do to women. Hugo, you yourself said (in response to a comment I made about how MRA types seem bewilderingly homophobic) that, on your first appearance on his show, Glenn had made a snide comment about gay men in response to something you’d said.

the general consensus that sexual conservatism was something invented in order to keep women down, and you’re buying into the patriarchy if you agree with it

There have always been men who pushed this argument, by the way. “You’re not uptight, babe, are you?” was around in the 1960s. Regardless, it’s not the behavior, but the reason. Being a virgin because you choose to be and are happy with it is far different than being a virgin because sex is something men do to women.

]]> By: Amanda http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10069 Amanda Wed, 23 Mar 2005 00:31:20 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10069 <i>I believe, from experience, that parenting is by far the most rewarding work a human can do. I believe that missing the opportunity to do this job, whether one is male or female, is a tragedy.</i> See now, having a child for me would be a tragedy, a way to have all the possibilites laid out before me snuffed out of existence. But I certainly think other people enjoy having children. Why do we have to characterize other people's choices as "tragedies" and imply that conforming is the only route to happiness? I believe, from experience, that parenting is by far the most rewarding work a human can do. I believe that missing the opportunity to do this job, whether one is male or female, is a tragedy.

See now, having a child for me would be a tragedy, a way to have all the possibilites laid out before me snuffed out of existence. But I certainly think other people enjoy having children. Why do we have to characterize other people’s choices as “tragedies” and imply that conforming is the only route to happiness?

]]> By: bmmg39 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10068 bmmg39 Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:02:57 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10068 "-Please don't judge me for having casual sex when all I said was that it was hard to navigate the current culture, sexually. As it happens, I'm a 22-year-old virgin. But does anyone really want to say that on the internet!?" Maybe, especially since I'm a THIRTY-two year old virgin (and a dude)...so it's not as unusual as you think. “-Please don’t judge me for having casual sex when all I said was that it was hard to navigate the current culture, sexually. As it happens, I’m a 22-year-old virgin. But does anyone really want to say that on the internet!?”

Maybe, especially since I’m a THIRTY-two year old virgin (and a dude)…so it’s not as unusual as you think.

]]> By: yami http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10067 yami Tue, 22 Mar 2005 21:58:14 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10067 I'm not *that* far out of college, but I went to male-dominated nerd school so the dating scene was... different. Anyway, I didn't mean to imply that in-betweeners can't meet people, merely that they're in a dating scene where one's other opinions predominate, so it's harder to pre-screen on that particular criterion. I’m not *that* far out of college, but I went to male-dominated nerd school so the dating scene was… different. Anyway, I didn’t mean to imply that in-betweeners can’t meet people, merely that they’re in a dating scene where one’s other opinions predominate, so it’s harder to pre-screen on that particular criterion.

]]> By: Emily http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10066 Emily Tue, 22 Mar 2005 21:07:40 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10066 Um. I am hideously bad at engaging in debate. Particularly when sick, tired, overworked. I apologize. I should know better than to start things and not respond. -Please don't judge me for having casual sex when all I said was that it was hard to navigate the current culture, sexually. As it happens, I'm a 22-year-old virgin. But does anyone really want to say that on the internet!? -I do think that the situation is probably not as bad, for most people, as I made it out to be. I agree with yami's comment that being in an in-between place rules out bars and very evangelical student groups, but you can still meet people through hobbies, in class, etc. It's frustrating that my social environments are (a) 90% female classes, and (b) interests/hobbies that trend VERY liberal sexually, but I am an exception and not a rule. -In some ways I feel that the pressure to have sex isn't from guys, but from the general consensus that sexual conservatism was something invented in order to keep women down, and you're buying into the patriarchy if you agree with it. There are days when I suspect it's true. This is why I like Hugo's blog so much--it offers evidence that a pro-feminist position and a relatively conservative position on sexuality are compatible. Um.

I am hideously bad at engaging in debate. Particularly when sick, tired, overworked. I apologize. I should know better than to start things and not respond.

-Please don’t judge me for having casual sex when all I said was that it was hard to navigate the current culture, sexually. As it happens, I’m a 22-year-old virgin. But does anyone really want to say that on the internet!?

-I do think that the situation is probably not as bad, for most people, as I made it out to be. I agree with yami’s comment that being in an in-between place rules out bars and very evangelical student groups, but you can still meet people through hobbies, in class, etc. It’s frustrating that my social environments are (a) 90% female classes, and (b) interests/hobbies that trend VERY liberal sexually, but I am an exception and not a rule.

-In some ways I feel that the pressure to have sex isn’t from guys, but from the general consensus that sexual conservatism was something invented in order to keep women down, and you’re buying into the patriarchy if you agree with it. There are days when I suspect it’s true. This is why I like Hugo’s blog so much–it offers evidence that a pro-feminist position and a relatively conservative position on sexuality are compatible.

]]> By: Keri http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10065 Keri Tue, 22 Mar 2005 18:48:01 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10065 yami: Right, but that also means that most of the people looking to meet partners in neutral territory (classes, clubs, etc.) are going to be "in-betweens," since the fratboys and evangelicals will probably stick to the places where they're less likely to have compatibility issues with any given potential partner. And since many of the in-betweens probably don't have strong feelings about the casual sex issue either way, it's not going to be that hard for any given in-betweener to find, if not someone who shares their identical values, at least someone who's willing to compromise to a point where both partners are satisfied. (Besides, I'm still convinced that most people find dates through their extended group of friends rather than among groups of random strangers, which makes it even more likely that one will find a compatible partner, because one tends to select friends with generally similar worldviews.) I'm in college now, and though my perspective may not be as informed as some other college students' might be because I don't live in the dorms, I've really never noticed conflicting values about sexuality being a particularly big issue in any of my friends' relationships. In fact, it almost seems as if there's a mostly unspoken agreement among most of the people I know to forgo, if not all sexual activity, at least intercourse; they're very aware of the threat of unwanted pregnancy and are doing all they can to avoid it. And we're hardly conservative Christians, so yeah, there's hope for those who find the extreme options unpalatable. yami: Right, but that also means that most of the people looking to meet partners in neutral territory (classes, clubs, etc.) are going to be “in-betweens,” since the fratboys and evangelicals will probably stick to the places where they’re less likely to have compatibility issues with any given potential partner. And since many of the in-betweens probably don’t have strong feelings about the casual sex issue either way, it’s not going to be that hard for any given in-betweener to find, if not someone who shares their identical values, at least someone who’s willing to compromise to a point where both partners are satisfied. (Besides, I’m still convinced that most people find dates through their extended group of friends rather than among groups of random strangers, which makes it even more likely that one will find a compatible partner, because one tends to select friends with generally similar worldviews.)

I’m in college now, and though my perspective may not be as informed as some other college students’ might be because I don’t live in the dorms, I’ve really never noticed conflicting values about sexuality being a particularly big issue in any of my friends’ relationships. In fact, it almost seems as if there’s a mostly unspoken agreement among most of the people I know to forgo, if not all sexual activity, at least intercourse; they’re very aware of the threat of unwanted pregnancy and are doing all they can to avoid it. And we’re hardly conservative Christians, so yeah, there’s hope for those who find the extreme options unpalatable.

]]> By: Hugo http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10064 Hugo Tue, 22 Mar 2005 16:56:44 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2005/03/21/thoughts-on-the-show-and-the-false-charge-of-the-declining-libido/#comment-10064 Mythago, just out of curiosity, when did Glenn make a fag joke? I have never heard that from him... Mythago, just out of curiosity, when did Glenn make a fag joke? I have never heard that from him…

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