Comments on: Students, teachers, friendship

By: alexander

alexander — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 16:33:47 +0000

This is one more example of how feminism is destroying relationships. I like that phrase “inappropriate behavior”, right out of the morals committee, the vice squad and the Taliban. It brings to mind an image of the Inquisition with your usual cast of feminists passing judgement on what is “appropriate”, backed up with the usual secret police apparatus: informers in the classroom, hysterical witch hunts, and jack booted thuggery.

By: Hugo

Hugo — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 15:01:00 +0000

Jeiler (I just love the Colombian fascination for the letter “J”), I know your beautiful and intoxicating (in the best sense) country well, and hope to know it better. Where are you in Colombia?

By: jeiler yesid mosquera

jeiler yesid mosquera — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 11:25:11 +0000

hi, jonathan this is my first time in the web,iam colombian english teacher i want to make lot of friends around the world if you are interesting please write me i am going to tell about me and my country i hope know you very soon.

By: Caitriona

Caitriona — Mon, 02 May 2005 11:12:39 +0000

Hugo,

You write well on this topic. Although I’m no longer teaching in a classroom, I still work with teens, through AYUSA and through my own teens’ friendships.

You’re right that they don’t need us to be their friends, such as they are friends with their peers. They need to be able to come to us for a more mature perspective on things and to look to us for guidance as they learn about life.

I am in the process of taking on more responsibilities with AYUSA’s local area. The lady I am replacing is a good, Christian lady. But she also has a tendency to be high-stress and to be very stern with the teens who come over in our program. My style of dealing with the kids is more laid-back and mentoring. Through years of working with teens, I’ve found that to be much more beneficial than being hard-nosed with them, especially when dealing with one who is making bad choices. (That’s not to say I’m not hard-nosed when the need arises. My 17yo can attest to that. ;-) )

You have to develop your approach to fit the situation. You work differently with your college students than you do with your youth group at church. But in neither instance is your current role that of a friend. There is time for friendship later, if the relationship is maintained or re-established in their adulthood.

By: SorchaRei

SorchaRei — Thu, 28 Apr 2005 04:24:32 +0000

When I graduated from college, by senior thesis advisor, with whom I had had an unmistakably friendly but still professional relationship (a relationship I would not have called a friendship, and neither would she have called it that) made an explicit move in the direction of turning our relationship into a friendship. I’m glad she did — she’s been a close friend now for over (gulp!) a quarter century.

When I was applying to graduate schools in my senior year, she wrote glowing letters on my behalf. When I was applying to graduate schools again two years ago, I decided it would compromise our friendship to ask her to write me another letter, so I had to dig out other people from 25 years ago to write for me.

There are gains and losses whenever a relationship changes. And when I stop to think about it, when she was my advisor and I was her student, I am glad it never crossed my mind that we could be “normal friends”. It would have complicated and contaminated that relationship.

Still, I am pleased to be able to call her my friend now.