Comments on: A brief mea culpa: the confession of a self-improvement junkie http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:18:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: F-Words http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24461 F-Words Mon, 24 Jul 2006 19:14:03 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24461 <strong>"I'm committed to my own happiness."</strong> The problem here is that the "objective scale" is easily adjusted to keep me just out of reach of finally being "good." “I’m committed to my own happiness.”

The problem here is that the “objective scale” is easily adjusted to keep me just out of reach of finally being “good.”

]]> By: Mr. Bad http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24460 Mr. Bad Mon, 24 Jul 2006 12:57:02 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24460 Oriscus said: <i>"And y'all wonder why the MRA-types are irrationally angry?"</i> "Irrationally" angry? Not at all. Unless one considers opposition to blatant sexism, hypocrsy and discrimination to be "irrational." Oriscus said: “And y’all wonder why the MRA-types are irrationally angry?”

“Irrationally” angry? Not at all. Unless one considers opposition to blatant sexism, hypocrsy and discrimination to be “irrational.”

]]> By: The Happy Feminist http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24459 The Happy Feminist Mon, 24 Jul 2006 12:30:58 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24459 <i>I justify the amount of time I spend on improving my fitness by saying I work equally hard on teaching, my volunteering, and my marriage. But does an increase in generosity in one area of one's life justify an increased self-absorption in another?</i> I have never considered fitness to be "self-absorption." I view it more as essential self-care, like sleeping, or brushing your teeth. One ought to be fit, if possible, in order to be maximally effective in other areas of life. If I am exercising, I do better work, and do better all around. Of course, I have a feeling you spend a bit more time and energy on your exercise regimen than I do! I justify the amount of time I spend on improving my fitness by saying I work equally hard on teaching, my volunteering, and my marriage. But does an increase in generosity in one area of one’s life justify an increased self-absorption in another?

I have never considered fitness to be “self-absorption.” I view it more as essential self-care, like sleeping, or brushing your teeth. One ought to be fit, if possible, in order to be maximally effective in other areas of life. If I am exercising, I do better work, and do better all around.

Of course, I have a feeling you spend a bit more time and energy on your exercise regimen than I do!

]]> By: mythago http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24458 mythago Sun, 23 Jul 2006 11:24:39 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24458 Hugo, "I'll change when my kids are born" is not exactly a thoughtful improvement strategy destined for success. Yes, many people do change when they have children. Other people don't, or change in ways that are destructive, or blame their children for 'ruining' their former way of life. The last thing you want is to have a child and blithely continue in your old, pre-kid schedule ("But honey, it's exercise!") or to resent your children for cutting into your me-time. And, as aldahlia points out, obsessive tendencies can simply be shifted from one kind of improvement to another. I don't mean this in a snotty way, but if you have a counselor or spiritual adviser, you might want to talk with them. Hugo, “I’ll change when my kids are born” is not exactly a thoughtful improvement strategy destined for success. Yes, many people do change when they have children. Other people don’t, or change in ways that are destructive, or blame their children for ‘ruining’ their former way of life.

The last thing you want is to have a child and blithely continue in your old, pre-kid schedule (”But honey, it’s exercise!”) or to resent your children for cutting into your me-time. And, as aldahlia points out, obsessive tendencies can simply be shifted from one kind of improvement to another. I don’t mean this in a snotty way, but if you have a counselor or spiritual adviser, you might want to talk with them.

]]> By: Hugo http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24457 Hugo Sun, 23 Jul 2006 09:21:54 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24457 Oriscus, I'd hate to have you reduce my commitment to male transformation solely to a function of my personality rather than a genuine ideological commitment. All of us who hold strong beliefs have those beliefs shaped by our idiosyncracies, I admit -- but you don't have to be a self-improvement junkie or "growth addict" to acknowledge that all of us, men and women alike, have lots of transforming to do. When and if a little Schwyzer appears, y'all will be informed. Oriscus, I’d hate to have you reduce my commitment to male transformation solely to a function of my personality rather than a genuine ideological commitment. All of us who hold strong beliefs have those beliefs shaped by our idiosyncracies, I admit — but you don’t have to be a self-improvement junkie or “growth addict” to acknowledge that all of us, men and women alike, have lots of transforming to do.

When and if a little Schwyzer appears, y’all will be informed.

]]> By: Laine http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24456 Laine Sun, 23 Jul 2006 01:21:40 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24456 Can the world handle a little Schwyzer? I'm not sure we're ready! :) Can the world handle a little Schwyzer?

I’m not sure we’re ready! :)

]]> By: Allison http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24455 Allison Sat, 22 Jul 2006 16:35:59 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24455 One self-improvement junkie to another, I enjoy your blog. Now, it's possible that aldahlia is correct, and that with kids, you'll find new obsessions. My hope for you, instead, is that you'll learn that "enough" is sometimes simply that: enough. Where parenting is concerned, perfection is highly overrated. One self-improvement junkie to another, I enjoy your blog.

Now, it’s possible that aldahlia is correct, and that with kids, you’ll find new obsessions. My hope for you, instead, is that you’ll learn that “enough” is sometimes simply that: enough. Where parenting is concerned, perfection is highly overrated.

]]> By: Phil Hoover http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24454 Phil Hoover Sat, 22 Jul 2006 10:50:25 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24454 HUGO, you are just waaaay too cool! Loving your blog....and tell me how I can become "addicted" to fitness. And please hurry. HUGO, you are just waaaay too cool! Loving your blog….and tell me how I can become “addicted” to fitness.

And please hurry.

]]> By: Oriscus http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24453 Oriscus Sat, 22 Jul 2006 02:51:24 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24453 Hugo, I'm glad to hear you admit to this (ok, you've been up-front all along, but it's been hard to hear through some of the judgment). What I long for is to hear what is "enough." Not that I expect to be "home" this side of judgement, but that want to be assured that I'm at least on the right train. Y'all keep moving the hurdles on us - and we on one another. And y'all wonder why the MRA-types are irrationally angry? Hugo, I’m glad to hear you admit to this (ok, you’ve been up-front all along, but it’s been hard to hear through some of the judgment).

What I long for is to hear what is “enough.” Not that I expect to be “home” this side of judgement, but that want to be assured that I’m at least on the right train.

Y’all keep moving the hurdles on us - and we on one another.

And y’all wonder why the MRA-types are irrationally angry?

]]> By: aldahlia http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24452 aldahlia Fri, 21 Jul 2006 23:15:37 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/21/a-brief-mea-culpa-the-confession-of-a-self-improvement-junkie/#comment-24452 <i>I have a feeling that when, deo volente, we have children, lots of this will change.</i> Honestly, it sounds like when you have kids, you'll just find new things to obsess about, ie. How to be the Perfect (as you can) Parent. I have a feeling that when, deo volente, we have children, lots of this will change.

Honestly, it sounds like when you have kids, you’ll just find new things to obsess about, ie. How to be the Perfect (as you can) Parent.

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