Sunday notes:
A. My wife is out of town for the week. She and her best friend left for Europe two days ago, and won’t be back until October 9. I miss her very much, but am glad she and her buddy get this time together. I’m often away from her on weekend retreats with my youth group, after all. We spend 50 weeks a year together; it makes sense to us to spend two weeks (on average) apart. Earlier this week, I mentioned to one of my gym buddies that my wife was headed off on a trip, and he gaped at me. "You let your wife go to Europe without you?" He was incredulous. I set him straight about the whole notion of "letting" as quickly as I could.
Now mind you, I’d be sad if my wife would always rather travel without me, but we’ve done a lot of traveling together in the past year (three times to the East Coast; to Africa; South America; England; Dubai) and we’ll be traveling abroad together again over Christmas break. We both know our lives will change radically when we have children, so we’re racking up the miles while we have the time. (Someday, I will post all of my tips for accruing and redeeming frequent flyer miles. Stay tuned.)
B. I’ll be taking a little trip of my own next weekend: I’ll be in Berkeley to see my beloved Golden Bears play their homecoming football game against the Oregon Ducks. Both teams are ranked, both teams have potent offenses, and it should be a good battle. It will also be my first game at Memorial Stadium in Berkeley in twenty years; I haven’t seen Cal play at home since the 1986 Big Game against Stanford, when I was a 19 year-old sophomore. Many of today’s Berkeley students weren’t even born then…
C. I ran to the top of Mt. Wilson again today, and have now logged over 50 miles since Tuesday. This makes me realize that five things are guaranteed to happen when my wife goes on vacation:
1. My normally ambitious exercise program will move from the merely compulsive to the definitively obsessive.
2. I will live on peanut butter, coffee, rice cakes, protein shakes, pineapple rings, and Clif Bars.
3. As a result of #1 and #2, I will lose weight.
4. The bed will go unmade.
5. The television will be on all the time, set to CNN or ESPN News.
D. Finally, I want to report that a memorial concert was held last night to honor my late father. A group of his chamber music friends gathered at Santa Barbara’s Music Academy of the West to play a variety of selections that were special to my daddy. My father was dedicated to his cello; next to his family, it gave him the greatest joy of his life. The music was magnificent and wide-ranging: Dvorak, Somis, Schumann, and many others. (In our family, we really love Schumann.) The final piece, chosen by my father’s dear friend and teacher Nona Pyron, was Max Bruch’s achingly moving Kol Nidrei. Given that it was the (almost) eve of Yom Kippur, and given my father’s own deeply ambivalent feelings about his Jewish heritage, it was a magnificent choice. I knew most of the selections, but had never heard the Bruch. I’m ordering a copy now.
I am the eldest son of a man who was very widely loved in his world. As sad as I remain, three months after his death, I am awed and inspired by how much joy he brought to others. Last night’s concert — which I attended with my stepmother and one of my sisters — was a tremendous gift to our family, and a wonderful reminder of just how many people cared so deeply for my Dad. Words do not have the power to convey my gratitude.
Hugo, I’m a regular reader and first-time commenter. I never said how sorry I was about your Dad, so let me say that.
I’m bothered by this:
“I will live on peanut butter, coffee, rice cakes, protein shakes, pineapple rings, and Clif Bars.”
I wonder if it’s your intent to imply that when you are alone, you eat a bizarre diet. It makes it sound like your wife “takes care” of you, which contradicts all of your insistence about male competence in the domestic sphere. Could you comment more on this?
Reg, you just suggested a post. Thanks!
When I’m alone, I don’t cook, and often don’t eat very much. It’s not that I’m incompetent at cooking - I actually enjoy it and am pretty good at it - but I just can’t be bothered to cook for myself (except for things that come out of a box).
In my case, it’s just because I’m a spacey INTP who pays little attention to her own well-being.
Wow, I can actually respond to all parts of this post! Here goes:
A: It’s good that you and your wife take the initiative to travel separately at times (and it’s also good that your wife went with her best friend - all sorts of bonds need to be maintained in life). I do admit, I often like to travel alone - I was very exhausted after a trip to Japan about six years ago with a group of buddies, especially since I was the only one who could speak or read any Japanese!
B: Cool that you’re heading up to Memorial Stadium next weekend - have a good time. Just try to avert your gaze from Cheapskate Hill…
C: Coffee, rice cakes, and pineapple rings - hmm, sounds almost like a complete Balinese breakfast (just need to add some random bits of shredded coconut and a banana leaf packet of Balinese rice porridge), but I’m assuming that the rice cakes are the dry kind ;)
But this as a regimen for the next few days?
D: I saw a photo of your father and a blurb about the concert in this week’s edition of the SB Independent, and had an inkling that you would be there at the concert. (Sorry, I had company this weekend, so I couldn’t make it.) I’m glad to hear that the tribute concert was indeed moving, especially for you and your family.
Ed, even when I was a poor undergrad, I never climbed Tightwad Hill.
I’ll post more about the eating/cleaning/single lifestyle regimen soon. And I do love “real” rice cakes, the fresh kind!
I’m so glad so many people saw the blurb and the photo in the Independent, it helped us get quite a few more folks in, I think.
Of course, my sis is the assistant arts editor of the Independent, so that helps… ;-)
Heh. I spent the day today showing students all the Hayward Fault-induced cracks in Memorial Stadium… Tightwad Hill is much safer.
Damn, and I’ll be sitting on the alumni side, which is (one presumes) the side that wil collapse when the quake comes.
I’ll die among friends, in a delirious sea of concrete, metal, blue, and gold…
Hehehe. Just be grateful that you HAve a wife..WHo will come back for you.