Yesterday’s New York Times: Sorority Evictions Raise Issue of Looks and Bias.
When a psychology professor at DePauw University here surveyed students, they described one sorority as a group of “daddy’s little princesses” and another as “offbeat hippies.” The sisters of Delta Zeta were seen as “socially awkward.”
Worried that a negative stereotype of the sorority was contributing to a decline in membership that had left its Greek-columned house here half empty, Delta Zeta’s national officers interviewed 35 DePauw members in November, quizzing them about their dedication to recruitment. They judged 23 of the women insufficiently committed and later told them to vacate the sorority house.
The 23 members included every woman who was overweight. They also included the only black, Korean and Vietnamese members. The dozen students allowed to stay were slender and popular with fraternity men — conventionally pretty women the sorority hoped could attract new recruits. Six of the 12 were so infuriated they quit.
It’s a stunning and depressing story; to be fair, Delta Zeta has responded here.
The role that sororities have played in feminist history is a complex one. It’s worth noting that the first modern sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta, was founded in 1870 at — of all places — the very same DePauw University now involved in the Delta Zeta hullabaloo. Many important leaders in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century women’s movement were sorority members. On “co-ed” campuses still dominated by men, sorority houses provided emotional refuge, intellectual stimulation and support, and a genuine sisterhood. For decades, sororities were no less diverse than the female student body; until the latter part of the twentieth century, that meant that sororities were overwhelmingly white and middle to upper-middle class.
Many of the women in my family, particularly those who attended large public universities (like Cal) were sorority members. My grandmother was a proud Kappa Kappa Gamma, and met my grandfather, a member of Delta Kappa Epsilon, through mutual friends at a fraternity party. Throughout her life, my grandmother was close to some of her sorority sisters. Their bond was deep and profoundly influential. My grandmother had a first-rate mind; her passion at Berkeley was astronomy, and she preferred star-study to party-going (not that the two activitites were mutually exclusive). In the mid-1920s, she found plenty of peers in Kappa who shared her intellectual passions.
Many women in my family have continued to join sororities down to the present day. (In my generation, we’ve had a continued large crop of Kappas and a notable number of Pi Phis. My second wife was a devoted Pi Phi, active in alumnae activities during our brief marriage.) Most of these women I’ve known describe their sorority experience in glowing terms.
Prior to the recent purge, Delta Zeta at DePauw offered some of that same sense of community my grandmother spoke about:
“I had a sister I could go to a bar with if I had boy problems,” said Erin Swisshelm, a junior biochemistry major who withdrew from the sorority in October. “I had a sister I could talk about religion with. I had a sister I could be nerdy about science with. That’s why I liked Delta Zeta, because I had all these amazing women around me.”
It’s true that the legacy of many sororities is tinged with elitism, with not-so-subtle racism, and with an occasional excessive concern with appearances. But many outsiders make the mistake of assuming that “lookism” and elitism are inherent in all women’s Greek letter organizations. They are either unaware of or unwilling to admit the possibility that for well over a century, sororities have offered an increasingly broad cross-section of young American women an opportunity to find authentic sisterhood. Behind the stereotypes of pearls and sweater sets, of degrading initiation rituals and a preoccupation with popularity and sex appeal, there lies a more nuanced story: the story that says that real feminist work happens in sorority houses all over this country. While a sorority experience is certainly not for every young woman, for many it offers the first real opportunity to live in female-centered community. While some aspects of sorority life can reinforce traditional gender roles, other aspects of the experience actively subvert them, offering young women a chance to radically rethink their own lives and their own goals.
Clearly, some of the women of Delta Zeta at DePauw felt embraced and nurtured by their sisters. They grew emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. What apparently happened at DePauw was sad and indefensible. But it doesn’t take away from the main story, the story that says that for at least many women, sorority membership can be a cornerstone of a wonderful university experience.
(For what it’s worth, I thought long and hard about “rushing.” I went through the preliminaries, particularly with Delta Kappa Epsilon, the “drunken Dekes” as they’ve been known for a century or more. In the end, for a wide variety of reasons, I bailed out. I had the strong sense that I was being welcomed as a legacy rather than as someone who might fit as a brother. Had I not felt so compelled to rush one particular very conservative house, I might well have ended up as a frat boy for life.)
It’s true that the legacy of many sororities is tinged with elitism, with not-so-subtle racism, and with an occasional excessive concern with appearances.
Occasional? Hello, understatement.
hmm, my limited knowledge of sororities stems from hollywood movies (legally blonde, animal house, sorority girls), and always left me with impression that they were nothing more than glorified, national cliques. why does it not surprise me now? i read the article, and i laughed when it mentioned the angry parents. isn’t the point of going to college is to be independent and learning to stand on your own two feet? (don’t get me wrong, i think the sorority did the wrong thing too)
being as i attend a community college, i’m still lost among the deltas, kappas, and alphas. why do they only have 3 letters?
Actually, many fraternities and sororities have just two letters. The history probably goes back to Phi Beta Kappa, founded in the 1700s, and then on to the various fraternities founded at Miami of Ohio in the early 1800s. The early university curriculum consisted largely of Latin and Greek, and the use of Greek letters in various combinations suggested sophistication (lots of inside, secret meanings).
The original social fraternities (as opposed to honor societies) were the famed Union Triad, founded at Union College. The three were Kappa Alpha, Sigma Phi and Delta Phi. Both Kappa Alpha and Sigma Phi temporarily disbanded during an anti-Masonic backlash in the early 19th century, leaving Delta Phi (my fraternity) as the rightful heir to the title of “oldest continuous fraternity”.
History aside, I loved frat life. At Hamilton none of the greek societies had houses, we all lived in the dorms, so that entire aspect of greek life is unknown to me. My brothers were some of my best friends, though I’ve lost touch with most of them, unfortunately. We did a fair amount of partying and hellraising, but the GPA within our fraternity was marginally higher than the campus as a whole. While Hamilton is a liberal-arts institution, our fraternity had several hard-science majors who could help the math and science-impaired brothers with their studies, while the rest of us could tutor them on their humanities courses. There was plenty of time for intellectually-stimulating conversation. I had a close-knit group of four or five brothers with whom I could discuss philosophy, history, literature. Granted, this was generally while drinking beer and passing a bong around, but then again, pretty much everyone on campus, be they greek or GDI, was doing the same.
Also, the frat provided a very important social network for me. I’m extremely shy, so it was very helpful to have a large number of friends and associates who could introduce me to others. Without them, I probably would have spent four years sitting in my dorm room. You shouldn’t discount the support aspect of greek life, either. If I was feeling depressed (and I was clinically depressed for most of college) I always had someone to talk to. That alone made the experience worthwhile.
All in all, if I ever have a child I would whole-heartedly reccomend greek life to them should they go to college. The key is choosing the right one. I went for the fraternity known for having hard-partying, hard-studying geeks and stoners and never regretted it. Had I pledged another I might be singing a very different tune.
How interesting to see someone write something about Greek life that isn’t full of hatred and vitriol. I was in a sorority, and I couldn’t imagine college without it. Since Hollywood only provides entertainment, they never delve into the too-boring-for-movies stuff that made up the bulk of our existence.
My own experience makes me exasperated when I hear people talk about how sororities limit their members to white women. Every African American sister we recruited was called up by the African American sororities and lured away (only one stayed with us), telling them that they wouldn’t fit in with us and that they would be happier with them. It always annoyed us, since we were suddenly “not fit” to be their sisters because we didn’t share their skin color, even though we all got along and felt we had that “connection” with them. I feel more sympathetic about it now, after learning a bit about the extra frustrations minority women feel in the whole feminism gig (not enough consideration given to women when they side with their race, not enough consideration given to their race when they side with their gender), but does anyone ever consider it when discussing the whiteness of the Greek system? Not that I’ve seen.
B and Glitch, thanks; it is important to have a more nuanced sense of Greek life than we normally do. The terrible Alexandra Robbins “Pledged” (supposedly an expose of the secret life of sororities, from the Ann Coulter school of responsible journalism) is often cited as gospel truth by some feminists who ought to know better.
I was GDI throughout college for the reasons I suggest, but worked with Greek folks on countless campus projects. (Back in the late 1980s, we made a real effort for dialogue between the co-ops and the Greeks, and it went well). I had tons of family in the Greek system, and though the racism and elitism and lookism were real aspects of many houses, they were not and never have been inherent in the whole idea of fraternities and sororities.
I’m a sorority woman, writing to you from my home in my chapter house. Thank you for this.
I love crisply pressed khakis, cardigans, getting highlights, and pearls. I love tradition, and the secrets and rituals of my organization. I love singing and clapping to sorority songs with my sisters. I knew I wanted to rush when I was 12.
Last night, my sisters had a meeting regarding the upcoming recruitment season. We sat in a circle and talked about our own rush experiences, and what made us choose this organization. The prevailing theme was diversity, acceptance, and a strong sisterhood with 40 very different and very fantastic women active in my particular chapter.
It doesn’t matter to me what background a sister comes from; I certainly don’t have Daddy’s checkbook or actually any financial support. I pay for college, including dues, myself. What matters when considering whether or not to accept a particular woman as my future sister is the way she treats people, the way she carries herself. Grace and poise transcend socioeconomic status, background, and appearance. My sisters are fantastic people, and through this organization, I have found women who I envision as lifelong friends.
While it is certainly interesting that the sisters chosen to continue to recruit for the DePauw DZs share certain physical characteristics, is it not as discriminatory to simply assume that they were chosen for their looks?
Marian, I share with you the fondness for khakis and cardigans. Haven’t done the highlights in a few years, however… ;-)
In any event, it reminds me that in my first women’s studies class at Cal, years ago, the best student in the class was a remarkably thoughtful, articulate Theta — marvelous at disarming those around her suspicious that the Greek system was rife with misogyny.
it reminds me that in my first women’s studies class at Cal, years ago, the best student in the class was a remarkably thoughtful, articulate Theta — marvelous at disarming those around her suspicious that the Greek system was rife with misogyny.
Two points here. A) Has it been claimed somewhere that sorority women cannot be bright and well spoken? B) While I’m glad that your student didn’t experience Greek life as being “rife with misogyny”, I’m quite certain that’s not the universal experience; and I think it’s a trifle unwise to hold up one articulate Theta as the definitive spokesperson on the issue.
I love tradition, and the secrets and rituals of my organization.
Out of curiosity, what traditions? And, if you can speak to the issue, what sorts of secrets and rituals?
A) Has it been claimed somewhere that sorority women cannot be bright and well spoken?
Not in this thread, but in real life when people find out I’m a sorority alum?
Out of curiosity, what traditions? And, if you can speak to the issue, what sorts of secrets and rituals?
I share Marian’s sentiments, so I’ll answer your questions as well. As far as traditions, my sorority’s founding members were the only five women at their New England college in 1874. One of them was even valedictorian of her graduating class, and yet she wasn’t permitted to have the title since she was a woman. Academic achievement was one of the most important values to these women, and it always pushed me through the day a little bit when I’d stop and remember their stories. Also, the fact that those five women created our rituals and traditions that long ago and we still hold onto them faithfully gives an extraordinary sense of history and pride at what a bunch of women in their late teens/early 20s can preserve.
The secrets and rituals, which I can’t name specifically, build on that and are special because our Founders chose them as guiding principles and examples of their values. When people ask me if we do anything scandalous, I always smile and ask them if they can really picture a bunch of college Christian women in the late 1800s drinking goat’s blood or something like that. Everything they created for us is beautiful and meaningful.
Somehow my answer to the first part of my quote was cut off - it should read, “Not in this thread, but in real life when people find out I’m a sorority alum? Yes.”
I don’t think this is true, fwiw. White sororities systematically excluded Jews and, on integrated campuses, African-Americans. It’s not just that sororities were non-diverse because colleges were non-diverse. Sororities *were* less diverse than the surrounding campuses.
I don’t really have strong feelings about sororities. They were there at my undergrad institution, but they weren’t that important. They didn’t have any more power than the radio station or the Korean students’ union. Their housing wasn’t superior to that available to other people. They were just a thing you could do if you were so inclined. I wasn’t, and that was fine. I didn’t have any desire to pledge, but sorority life didn’t strike me as any odder than the Society for Creative Anachronism or the marching band or a lot of other things that seemed to consume some of my classmates’ lives. So no big deal.
Where it does, I think, become a big deal is on campuses that are really Greek dominated. If frats and sororities cease to be merely one extracurricular choice among many and become the way that campus social life is organized, that’s a problem. It’s a problem if there’s stigma attached to being outside the Greek system. It’s a problem if the powers that be on campus are so beholden to the Greeks and to Greek alumni that they let frats and sororities get away with stuff that they don’t let other people do. Otherwise, I consider this pretty much a different strokes for different folks type situation.
Sally, as you surely are aware there have been fraternities and sororities for Jews for nearly a century (ZBT, etc.). Greeks on campus in say, the 1920s, were no more anti-Semitic than the culture at large.
The only “True” experience I’ve had with the Greek community is at my own campus.
And none of it has been positive.
The Frat boys are loud and obnoxious, with music that bothers the dorms late into the night. We’ve had more than our share of “don’t go to that house, unless you want to get raped”.
The sorority girls I’ve had the misfortune of having to work with on group projects have been more interested in talking amongst themselves than the work at question, and always have a “meeting” to go to on why they can’t work on their project. When the actual project rolled around, they seem to put more effort into their appearance than the powerpoint.
They claim that they do community service, but I don’t see it. It just seems like they host a lot of parties and then donate the door to charity.
We have a few Greek societies that have no houses, and they seem okay. But some combination of entitlement, alchol, and a house make the rest of them annoying as all hell, and a detraction from the school.
Strangely, I find myself speaking in defense of fraternities… service frats do exist, such as Alpha Phi Omega, and they seemed sincere enough when I was dating one of their brothers. APO is co-ed, too, for what that’s worth, and at least the chapter that I met was not hung up on appearances.
But that’s as close to Greek life as I ever got. My college didn’t have any frats or sororities, and I’ve never been a group-oriented person.
Out of curiosity, what traditions? And, if you can speak to the issue, what sorts of secrets and rituals?
Let me echo B: what I love about ritual and tradition is the way they’ve been passed down since 1898. They’re not about telling other girls they’re ugly or not good enough, but about sisterly love and support. I know how trite that sounds–40 strangers do not become sisters overnight. Maybe I could have could have found friends this awesome without Sigma, but I still love these girls, and I love writing to them in purple pen. I loved pinning my Sigma little with my own badge. Little things like that.
My point in all this is that it’s not about who’s skinnier or blonder or wears better shoes. It’s about treating people right, and learning from each other.
A little late to this particular party although have commented elsewhere (I’m an IU following the issue). I’m pleasantly surprised that this is being handled here want to thank Professor Hugo for commenting. I think it’s a brave and responsible thing for a male college professor to address.
As a woman of color and sorority woman, and IU graduate, for the time being I’m going to sidestep the NPC/NPHC color issue that B raised — except to note that the fact that she drew the analogy between white and non-white sororities and white and non-white feminism, and then went on to just conclude that NO ONE considers the points she raised when discussing “GLO elitism” just tells me we still have a loooooong way to go in generating awareness of everyone’s issues.
(B, all I really have to say about that without sounding unduly contentious is that you don’t know if someone’s thought about it unless you’ve asked them — and I’m referring specifically to people who don’t necessarily share your ethnic background. Because I’ve certainly thought about it, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.)
I am, I guess, about to throw a bomb in this neat, tidy, civilized discussion because once again, a central issue in the brouhaha appears to have been neatly sidestepped. Especially on a feminist blog that deals - usually - with “lookism”.
A commenter on another blog “the sexism and looks-ism of gender conformity expectations played some part in the entire ugly affair, to the extent it plays a role in supporting the greek affiliation social structure.”
Let’s discuss the characterization of the sorority on campus as the “Delta Dogs” and the “least desirable” sorority on campus to pledge because the majority of the members did not, in another member’s words, “please the fraternity men.”
Let’s discuss the culture on campus that apparently actively promoted the supposition that “thin, white, blonde, and not demonstrably smart” are the only way to be “desirable”.
Let’s focus on the fact that “desirability” according to these standards, pleasing men with these standards and being punished by the patriarchal apologist women who held national office with the sorority, was apparently the ONLY way to be a “socially successful female” on a campus that’s 80% Greek.
I’ve noticed a lot of discussion about the appalling behavior of the women at Nationals. And I’m in full agreement that it was appalling — however rewarding one’s Greek experience in another chapter, on another campus, whatever.
However, what I think I’m getting at is the interesting concomitant reluctance to discuss the “standards” of the fraternity “men” that ENABLED such behavior — or at minimum, has silenced discussion on the topic.
According to various reports from members suffering through the various stages of reorganization (and in particularly from one of the “conventionally pretty” women that left in solidarity with the 23), it was all “you have to lose weight, you have to party more, you have to wear more makeup, you have to be more sexually appealing to men, you have to do whatever you have to do to PLEASE THE GUYS.”
And no, I don’t have a problem being encouraged to be social and appealing (although some women might, and that’s another issue). I have a problem when “being sexually appealing” is forced on me - or on anyone - and characterized as the first or only trait that determines my acceptability in society, and anything else that I have to contribute is immaterial and irrelevant — or pushed down so low as a comparative priority that it might as well be.
That’s apparently the DZ National patriarchal apologist party line, and it seems to me to be the very center of sexism. That party line, IMO, was espoused in direct response to the pressure that Nationals has ostensibly felt for 100 years to please men at all times as the foundation of the organization’s existence.
And Nationals, who responded to the pressure, abhorrent as their actions were, is getting ALL the blame. The cultural pressure to which they were responding?
No one who has blogged about the issue is even addressing it.
As an African-American woman I choose to attend a college in part because of the fact that they did not allow fraternities and sororities on campus.
Part of my reasons for feeling this was important was because of my experiences with a prominent African-American sorority. I have an older first cousin who was an alumna of a chapter on the campus of a college I was seriously considering.
When I applied to college I was going through this process with another first cousin Liz who was the same age. We were inseparable growing up and were hoping to attend college and possibly pledge together. Although we both applied to several colleges we only applied to three in common. We visited those three college campuses together. The problems came when our cousin met us for one of the visits. She was excited about going with us to a function at her former sorority but she stressed how difficult it would be for both of us to pledge. We thought she was trying to be supportive and missed the implications of what she was saying she seemed to be coaching us on what to say and trying to give us insights into what her sorority would be looking for in a potential pledge.
After the social event we understood what she was trying to say covertly. I personally was stunned. I was not prepared to be judged on how I looked, how dark I was, what my parents did for a living, my views on men with respect to serving and helping the affiliated fraternity men by providing a social outlet and support. I agree with littlem a lot of the focus is on what you are willing to do to for fraternity members.
One other issue I have not seen discussed is how some sororities expect members to be academically dishonest and do work for affiliated fraternity members. The “support” the sorority members we interacted with described was often academic. My cousin and a couple of her friends (also alumnae) were talking about this how they “tutored” fraternity members. Although the word “tutoring” was used they actually described doing assignments for the frat guys and actually bragged about how writing papers for frat guys improved their writing skills and how it showed how loyal they were to the fraternity they were affiliated with. Sadly they even discussed a frat member who they suspected was barley literate and how they helped him get through college. From their discussions the “social outlet” duties could include dating and I suspect sleeping with fraternity members although no one said openly that sex was expectation of membership but a couple of people hinted at it which was disturbing. One person actually told us that one of us had virtually no chance of being admitted because “you are too chocolate” this really is what changed my opinion about the idea of pledging.
I decided to attend a small college that did not allow fraternities or sororities on campus it was the best decision I ever made. My cousin went to a larger college with a large greek system and successfully pledged and she was very happy with her choice. The main difference I see is that I have a more diverse group of friends from all socio-economic classes, at least 9 countries, and every region of the U.S. In contrast all of my cousin’s friends are from her sorority and they are all from very similar backgrounds they all from the US, same race and class. College for me was an experience that meant exposure to many cultures and groups she was granted membership to an exclusive and extremely homogeneous group.