Archive for October, 2007

Friday Random Ten: the chinchillas miss their nanny edition

#1 and #9 are classics. #5 is off a great early Prince album that was a mainstay of my high school cassette collection. I make no apologies for liking most of James Blunt, all of Rosie Thomas, and — yes, this one song by the Cover Girls, which brings back my misspent youth. The bonus track didn’t show up on my random party shuffle, but it’s one of my favorite songs off the best new Christian album of the year, IMHO.

1. “Handsome Molly”, Ralph Stanley
2. “The Story”, Brandi Carlile
3. “I’m on My Way”, Proclaimers
4. “All My Life”, Rosie Thomas
5. “Sister”, Prince
6. “Red Skies”, The Fixx
7. “Same Mistake”, James Blunt
8. “The Truth About You”, Rosanne Cash
9. “Meeting in the Air”, The Red City Ramblers
10. “Inside Outside”, The Cover Girls

Bonus Track: “There is a Reason”, Caedmon’s Call

Lessing

Doris Lessing has won the Nobel Prize for Literature, and I am very happy. Though a few of her recent pronouncements on feminism have made me wince, I’ve loved her work since I first read “The Grass is Singing” when I was sixteen. From the “Golden Notebook” to the devastating “Love, Again”, she’s one of the great masters of the English language and a giant in the field of women’s literature. I’m so pleased that this came while she was still with us.

Next to her fellow Nobel laureate (and fellow African) Coetzee, there is no other living writer who has had a greater impact on my thinking about the individual’s responsibility in the world. (And I’m one of the few people I know who’s read the whole “Children of Violence” series — twice. For pleasure.)

Long overdue.

“Acting in the courage of our uncertainties”: a reflection on Neuhaus, decision making, and the God who “waits on the other side of the decision”

When it comes to most issues, I have very little in common with the revered Catholic neo-conservative, Richard John Neuhaus. But in 2001, at the recommendation of my friend Steve, I started subscribing to his First Things magazine. I’ve renewed my subscription faithfully each year since, as I find the seriousness and the liveliness of the writing to be desperately good. (I wish that there were an equivalent publication on the religious left; Sojourners may match up better with my politics, but I rarely find articles within its pages that make me gasp at the beauty of the prose.)

Like a lot of First Things readers, I read the last thing in the magazine first: “The Public Square”, Neuhaus’ long, biting, frequently uncharitable but always delicious commentary on all sorts of matters political, ecclesiastical, and moral. And every once in a while, just when I’m about to get completely fed up with this ageing reactionary, he writes something so dead on right I leap to my feet in excitement. Last night, during chinchilla out time, I read this:

We are all uncertain about what God wants us to do. That is to say, we do not know for sure. Of course it seems silly, when you’re well past middle age and have spent your life doing what you believe you’ve been given to do, to always be getting up in the morning or suddenly stopping in the middle of the day’s work to ask, “Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?” I mentioned this to a young man who is discerning whether he has a call to the priesthood, and he was shocked, perhaps scandalized. He said, in effect, “You mean after all these years of being a priest, of writing books, of editing and lecturing, of organizing so many projects, you still aren’t sure you’re doing what God called you to do? How am I ever to know that God is calling me to the priesthood?” The answer is that we act in the courage of our uncertainties. I am fond of pointing out that the word decide comes from the Latin decidere, “to cut off.” You face choices—whether to be a priest, whether to go to this school or that, whether to marry a certain person, whether to pursue this line of work or another—and then you decide. And, in deciding, you have cut off the alternatives and pray you have decided rightly. But you do not know for sure. Or else you are trapped in the tangled web of indecision. In this connection, I have had frequent recourse, both homiletically and personally, to one of the most liberating passages from Saint Paul—1 Corinthians 4. He has been trying to explain himself and his apostolate to the Christians in Corinth. He doesn’t know whether he has succeeded, and then he says this: “But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. I do not even judge myself. . . . Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart.” Do not judge before the time! I do not even judge myself! These are the words of a life set free from the tangled web of introspection and indecision.

We act in the courage of our uncertainties. That’s good stuff. Better than good; it’s perfect. Continue reading ‘“Acting in the courage of our uncertainties”: a reflection on Neuhaus, decision making, and the God who “waits on the other side of the decision”’

Thursday Short Poem: Kunitz’s “The Quarrel”

I’ve memorized the first four lines of this poem. Taming the tongue is not easy for me, and when, as I sometimes do, I think about the words I’ve said to she who loves me most and best, I shudder in guilt and regret.

The Quarrel

The word I spoke in anger
weighs less than a parsley seed,
but a road runs through it
that leads to my grave,
that bought-and-paid-for lot
on a salt-sprayed hill in Truro
where the scrub pines
overlook the bay.
Half-way I’m dead enough,
strayed from my own nature
and my fierce hold on life.
If I could cry, I’d cry,
but I’m too old to be
anybody’s child.
Liebchen,
with whom should I quarrel
except in the hiss of love,
that harsh, irregular flame?

I’ll be speaking…

tomorrow afternoon out at Claremont Graduate University. Working title: “Divided Hearts, Divided Loyalties: Race, Class and the Question of American Feminism.”

Hint: Shirley Chisholm will come up.

Against “Bambi environmentalism”: a long post on hunting, veganism, cruelty, and the commitment to pleasure

The latest issue of Sierra, the magazine for Sierra Club members, showed up in our mailbox on Saturday. One article in particular stood out: “Life Itself Is a Risky Process” , an interview with Mary Zeiss Stange, professor of religon and women’s studies at Skidmore College. Stange is a feminist, an environmentalist …and an avid hunter. When she’s not teaching at Skidmore, she and her husband run a bison ranch in Montana.

It’s an interesting interview. Take Stange’s views on women and hunting:

Sierra: How do you explain the differences between men’s and women’s approaches to hunting?

Stange: Even before I became a hunter, I was fascinated by the Greek goddess Artemis, whom the Romans called Diana. One thing that struck me was that the goddess of hunting is also the goddess of childbirth. What do taking life and giving birth have to do with each other? They put you immediately in touch with the fact that everything that lives does so because other things die. Life itself is a risky process. Certainly one of those moments is childbirth. Another is the decision to take the life of a big, beautiful, sentient animal so that you can feed yourself and your family.

Stange gets point for candor, and of course, that last sentence (bold emphasis mine) left me indignant. It’s true that death and life are woven together, and that the survival of many creatures is contingent on their ability to kill and consume other living beings. But the fact that death is inevitable and, in some instances in the animal world, crucial for the survival of species, doesn’t mean that those creatures who have free will and have the means to exercise it shouldn’t do all in their power to struggle to minimize death. Stange and her family don’t need to live off the flesh of another sentient creature. For a 21st century middle-class American, the killing of living beings isn’t a survival imperative — it’s a decision to which there are legitimate alternatives. To pretend otherwise is foolish and cruel. Continue reading ‘Against “Bambi environmentalism”: a long post on hunting, veganism, cruelty, and the commitment to pleasure’

The gloomy Golden Bear

Those of you who read me regularly or know me well are aware that I’m a devoted Cal football fan. If you’re wondering why I’m not blogging about their recent rise to #2 in the national polls, it’s because I have every expectation that in some way yet to be revealed, my beloved Golden Bears will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory at the very last possible moment. The only chance we have at genuinely going undefeated this season is if as many fans and alumni as possible glumly predict disaster before each and every game. And that is what I intend to do.

In that spirit of carefully manufactured pessimism, I anticipate that Oregon State will nip my dear Bears this weekend, 23-21.

Older men, younger women again: a note on the Kucinich marriage

Look! A post on something other than reverse snobbery or bondage for Christians! Rejoice!

My old friend Bill reads this blog, and has noted my penchant for taking fairly strong stances on certain subjects, like the sinfulness of wearing fur and the generally problematic nature of older-men, younger-women relationships.

Bill recently went to a fundraising event where he briefly met Dennis Kucinich and his wife, Elizabeth Harper. Dennis turned 61 yesterday; his wife Elizabeth is, as many folks know, more than three decades his junior. (Dennis’ campaign page is here, and his wife’s page is here.).

Bill, knowing of both my general disapproval of significant age-gap relationships and my deep fondness for the only fellow vegan in congress, writes:

I see lots of deserved kvelling about Mr. Kucinich but nary a word about his being married to a woman thirty years younger than he is. Plenty of paragraphs devoted to that subject in general but nothing about those two. Heck, I don’t think I saw even one word about Mrs. Kucinich at all. So what’s the deal? Does Kucinich get a free pass from you because of his outstanding professional record? Or are you so taken with them as a couple that the age difference doesn’t look so bad on them? Or do you secretly think it all depends on the two people in question?

Like a lot of folks, I raised an eyebrow when I heard about the Kucinich marriage two years ago. 31 years is not an insignificant age gap, after all. At the same time, as I’ve made clear in my many posts on this subject, it’s not wise to subject all age-disparate relationships to rigid hard and fast rules, save when the younger partner involved is under 21. Continue reading ‘Older men, younger women again: a note on the Kucinich marriage’

I am “a poor excuse for a teacher”

I am, in the mind of Dr. Dan Butin, a poor excuse for a teacher. But in the aftermath of my less-than-kind dismissal of his entire profession (he’s dean of a school of education somewhere lovely), his ire is understandable. I’m sure he’s a delightful man despite his vocation, and I suppose I can see why my comparison of my students to rocky or loamy soil arouses his indignation. (It’s taking a biblical metaphor a bit far, I suppose.)

Someday, I will write a post on why it is that I regard the creation of a separate Deparment of Education as the single most lamentable decision of Jimmy Carter’s otherwise underrated presidency.

But that will have to wait for another day. I have promises to keep and chinchilla poops to sweep and and dust baths to give before I sleep.

Vulgar ostentation or justifiable pride: a reflection on hanging academic diplomas

On Friday, I wrote in my post about the perceived preference for Ph.Ds at the community college:

I’m glad I have my Ph.D. (My diplomas are all in a box somewhere, mind you. Our Kind of People never put degrees on the wall, after all; it seems showy and aggressive.)

I’ve been thinking about this issue of not putting the diploma on the wall. One of my senior colleagues here is a woman from, as she describes it, “an Irish working-class family where no one went to college.” One of six children, she was the first in her family to receive a B.A., and after years of hard work, a Ph.D. Her undergraduate and graduate diplomas are framed and hang on the wall in her office. She does insist that her students address her as “Dr. Sullivan” (not her real name).

Dr. S and I are good friends, and after I got my Ph.D. in 1999, she said to me “Now you can hang a new diploma on your wall.” I told her I didn’t think that was going to happen. “Why not?”, she asked.

I told Dr. S (who, among other things, has expertise in sociology) that “in my culture”, “my people” tend to see the display of diplomas as “showing off.” Both my parents had Ph.Ds. from Berkeley; I have no idea where either one of their diplomas is hiding. For them, putting a diploma up in the office would have been like hanging a marriage license on the wall after getting home from the honeymoon! It’s one thing, I told Dr. S, to be privately proud of an accomplishment; it’s another thing to wave the proof of that accomplishment around.

I don’t know which football coach it was who said it, but some grizzled old veteran who counseled against exuberant celebration after a score always said “Act like you’ve done it before and intend to do it again very soon.” In other words, drawing attention to one’s academic accomplishments (and hanging diplomas on the office walll is certainly drawing attention) suggests that one views the acquisition of the doctorate as vaguely miraculous. It also, I told Dr. S, seemed to be inviting admiration. OKOP, I told her, are trained to downplay “that sort of thing.”

Dr. S and I were and are good enough friends to have this sort of “cross-cultural dialogue.” Dr. S wasn’t in the least offended by my reluctance to hang my various diplomas, or by my willingness to confess to her my reasons for keeping the damn things tucked in a drawer. But she also offered her own perspective:

“Hugo”, she said, “I don’t display the diploma to show off for myself. My mother and father worked terribly hard to put me through school. My husband sacrificed enormously so that I could work on my doctorate while our kids were small. No one in my family or my husband’s had ever gotten a Ph.D. before. And after all that collective effort, if I act as you do — as if a Ph.D. is ultimately not important — it makes it seem as if I don’t appreciate all that they did to help me achieve this goal. When my eighty-year old mother comes to my office, she gets to see that diploma and it makes her feel incredibly proud. Your mother, Hugo, already has a Ph.D, and though I’m sure she’s proud of you, she doesn’t need to see it the way mine does.”

Dr. S reminded me that the “OKOP dislike of ostentation” is in part a manifestation of privilege. When everyone in the family goes to college, and lots of people get Ph.Ds, and parents don’t have to work double shifts at the factory to pay for graduate school for the kids — then the newly dissertated and hooded ones can afford to be nonchalant and self-deprecating. Dr. S argued that in her case, as a woman from a working-class Irish Catholic background, she was both entitled to a greater degree of display and indeed required to “show off”. To do any less would be to disrespect the extraordinary sacrifice of her loved ones.

I’m also aware of something that Dr. S didn’t mention. We teach on a campus that has a high percentage of non-white students, as well as a majority of folks who are first-generation college students. These students need reminders that a Ph.D. is possible for them too. Those professors who hold the doctorate — and are themselves members of ethnic minorities or were, like Dr. S, first-generation college students — thus have, perhaps, an obligation to display the diploma in order to inspire the young.

I have another colleague in another department; like me, he holds a Ph.D from UCLA. He is also African-American, and he began his academic career right here at PCC. On the wall in his office, he has diplomas from each stage of his career in higher education, starting with the associate’s degree from Pasadena all the way up to the doctorate itself. Those diplomas, which hang behind his desk and stare his visitors in the face are not just there to swell his head — they are there, I suspect, to send a message to those students who look like him (but not like me) that academic success is possible for everyone if they work hard enough. Though I’ve never discussed it with this man, I suspect that this is his reason for displaying the evidence of his academic prowess so boldly. What OKOP sees as aggressive and vulgar showiness, others may see as much-needed inspiration for the next generation.

I know my diplomas are somewhere in a box in the garage. I last saw them in 2002, when I was packing up after my divorce. I have no intention of throwing them out, of course. But in all honesty, I’m not really sure what to do with them. I don’t want them on the wall in my home, or on the wall in my campus office. Perhaps I’ll just keep them tucked away forever, in the same sort of place where I keep old tax returns and insurance papers. But let me be clear that I no longer cast aspersions on those who choose to hang the evidence of their achievements for all to see. For some, perhaps, it isn’t ostentation or insecurity that drives such display: it’s the desire to honor all those who made the achievement possible. And it’s the desire to inspire a new generation to achieve similar goals. In the end, there’s nothing vulgar or showy about that.

Monday morning

I’m in the office early; I met my boxing trainer at 5:30 this morning instead of the usual 6:00. It was a late night last night for us as well; we spent the day with my stepmother and sister in Santa Barbara. Lots of traffic coming back to Los Angeles, and we had “chinchilla duty” awaiting us. (With seven chinchillas, playtime takes an absolute minimum of ninety minutes a night.)

We stopped by the Santa Barbara cemetary yesterday morning. My father’s headstone is at last in place, and as I had expected, I became a bit tearful at seeing it for the first time. In the afternoon, we walked around the lagoon at UCSB where I had first walked with him as a toddler nearly forty years ago. It was a lovely, breezy, warm day. And though people always say this sort of thing, nearly a year and a half after his death, I still can’t believe my father is gone. Except that in some important sense, he isn’t.

And at Inside Higher Education, an expanded version of my post from a few weeks back on “educrats.” I changed what I thought were the weakest parts of the piece, but kept the polemical tone in place.

More to come.

Ph.Ds at CCs: a reflection

I generally try and keep up with the very interesting Confessions of a Community College Dean blog, hosted at Inside Higher Education.

This week, an interesting piece by the unnamed dean on his preference for hiring Ph.Ds for full-time teaching positions at the community college. Dean writes:

Certainly, the single clearest criterion we look at is teaching ability, especially in the areas we need taught. I’ve seen Ph.D.’s fall flat here, and the degree won’t save them. I’ll grant that good-faith observers can differ on the relative performance of one teacher as against another – that’s one of the reasons that we have search committees. But a demonstration that fails to show, say, mastery of the subject matter, or the ability to speak clearly enough to be understood, is the kiss of death.

All of that granted, though, the preference for doctorates isn’t just arbitrary.

Although our degrees top out at the two-year level, our students don’t. A gratifying number of them go on to four-year degrees and beyond, up to and including medical school, law school, and grad school. I believe that part of the job of a cc is to prepare those students to succeed at the next level(s). To the extent that we can give the students exposure to the same faculty they’d get at the next level, I think we do them a service. (Honestly, in many cases, I think we do better than some of our four-year competitors at teaching intro courses. The four-year schools sometimes treat intro courses as afterthoughts or grudging obligations; they’re our bread-and-butter. Our intro classes are small, and taught mostly by full-time faculty. That certainly isn’t the case at, say, Flagship State.)

The sentence I placed in bold is an argument I’ve never considered.

As I’ve written before, I didn’t start graduate school at UCLA intending to teach permanently at a community college. I hadn’t ruled out the possibility either. My late father was a professor at UCSB, my mother a (now-retired) instructor at Monterey Peninsula College. Throughout my childhood, I had both parents as role models — and each taught at a different level in the state system of public education. When I started the pursuit of the Ph.D., I certainly expected to follow more in my father’s footsteps than my mother’s.

It was only when I started working as a teaching assistant (back in early 1991) that I realized that being in front of a classroom was electrifying and thrilling; doing research and writing was dull by comparison. I’d always known I was more of a performer than a deep thinker, and doing research and TA work at the same time made it clear that my future preference would be for a job at an institution where good teaching was the sole criterion for success.

When I was hired full-time at Pasadena City College in 1994, my dissertation adviser told me I would be “a fool” if I took the job. He had invested a lot of time in me as his protege, and wanted me to continue to do the research I had started to do on late-medieval English church history. I assured him that I would finish the dissertation I had started, but that teaching was my first love. He, a two-time winner of UCLA’s distinguished teaching award, pointed out that research excellence and outstanding teaching were not mutually exclusive. And I admitted he was right — but the shot at “instant financial security” that the PCC job offered was too tempting to decline, especially as I was about to get married for the second time.

Slightly fewer than half of my full-time colleagues at PCC have their Ph.Ds. I certainly didn’t have mine when I started. Though I was ABD (”all but done”, or “all but dissertation”) by 1994 when I started on the tenure-track, it took me another five years to finish the doctorate. It wasn’t until August 26, 1999, that I walked out of Powell Library with a little slip in my hand indicating that all the requirements had been met, the dissertation signed and filed, and the Ph.D at last in hand. Teaching full-time, going through a divorce and two severe mental breakdowns in the mid-1990s had slowed the pace of my writing.

When I finally got the Ph.D., my colleagues threw me a small party. My friend Marc Dollinger (now a professor of Jewish ethics at SF State, and himself a Cal undergrad, UCLA Ph.D.), put up signs all over the department — including the men’s restroom — saying “Hugo is Phinally PhinisheD.” It was very sweet. The congratulations I got from my mother and father and brother — all Ph.Ds themselves — were of course the sweetest. I felt as if I had finally gained membership in the one club to which I had most aspired to belong.

But my teaching didn’t change as a result of my getting the Ph.D. My students called me “Hugo” when I was a fresh-faced 27 year-old; most still call me “Hugo” now as I head into middle-age. The plaque on my door was changed by the college from “Mr. Hugo Schwyzer” to “Dr. Hugo Schwyzer” but that was not at my behest, and it seems to have had no impact on the respect I receive from my students. While “phinally phinishing” the Ph.D. felt good emotionally, it had very little connection to my work in the classroom.

I don’t think most PCC students know which of their professors have doctorates and which don’t. I certainly see no evidence that they have more automatic respect for those of us with Ph.Ds than for our colleagues with terminal M.A. degrees. Because my dissertation topic (the role of the bishops of Durham and the archbishops of York in providing for the defense of northern England during the reign of Edwards I, II, and III) has nothing to do with anything I teach at the college, I very rarely reference my own work while I am teaching.

The dean’s point in the blog that community colleges ought to offer future transfer students exposure to the same sort of profs they will encounter at the next level is a valid one. It makes sense, too, to counter the argument that the two-year colleges lack the academic quality of four-year institutions. Whether or not the Ph.D. means much in terms of improving teaching, it certainly means something to the public. My college, as far as I can tell, likes to tout the relatively high percentage of Ph.Ds on the faculty. To the extent that that assuages the anxieties of parents and students about the quality of the two-year professoriate, I’m willing to believe that possession of a Ph.D. ought to be a tie-breaker in hiring — but only when all else is truly equal. Beyond the “PR value”, I’m not sure the doctorate means much at our level.

I’m glad I have my Ph.D. (My diplomas are all in a box somewhere, mind you. OKOP never put degrees on the wall, after all; it seems showy and aggressive.) If a student comes to visit me and tells me that he or she is considering a Ph.D. in history, I’m very encouraging. I make it clear that the road to a doctorate is long and challenging. I tell them that though I personally loathed doing the research I had to do to produce my dissertation, I was elated when I finished. I did feel validated as a scholar and an intellectual, and even if I intended to walk away from the ivory tower, I knew I carried with me everlasting evidence of at least a basic level of skill and tenacity. I tell my students that a dissertation of hundreds (even thousands) of pages is written a sentence at a time (in my case, over nearly five years). And I do tell them that if they intend to teach at the four-year level, the Ph.D. will be indispensable. Going through the hoops to get that highest of degrees does, I tell them, prove something to those who make hiring decisions. It establishes credibility as a scholar in a way that few other things do.

The subjects I most enjoy teaching these days (ancient near eastern religion, contemporary gender studies) are more than a little far afield from my dissertation work. If those three little letters after my name increase my credibility in the eyes of my students, I’m at best ambivalent. If that increased credibility for me is linked to doubts in the skills of a colleague with a terminal M.A., that’s troubling.

Many of my students, I think, don’t know I have a Ph.D. unless they scrutinize my nameplate outside my office or look in the college catalogue. And though I am moderately proud of what I was able to do, that pride is almost entirely private.

Friday Random Ten: autumn here at last edition

I’ll have you know that though my wife downloaded #2, I’m unapologetic about liking it very much.

1. “It’s Not Happening”, Be Good Tanyas
2. “All Cried Out”, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
3. “Summer’s Almost Gone”, Cheryl Wheeler
4. “Big City Nights”, Scorpions
5. “Firecracker”, Wailin’ Jennys
6. “Petals”, Hole
7. “Misguided Angel”, Cowboy Junkies
8. “Can You Hear Me Now”, Emmylou Harris
9. “Sounds of Loneliness”, Patty Loveless
10. “Must I Paint You a Picture”, Billy Bragg

Bonus Track: “A Change Is Gonna Come”, Sam Cooke

Thursday search term update

It’s not a good day for posting; letters of recommendation to write, special meetings to attend, and an obscure medieval Latin text to translate for some friends.

Since Monday, folks have come to this blog using the following queries; it’s the specificity that always makes me happy.

how do i make a sexual harassment presentation fun

what would jesus do on jobless graduates

biblical prophecies for marriage and divorce in 2007 and 2008

how to tell about a person by the way they order a steak

…i am very very tired of making compromises for men i am tired of trying to understand them and their excuses.

what are some common college essay themes that are trite

Thursday Short Poem: Jeffers’ “Vulture”

And another Jeffers poem. I love this piece for one word, and I suspect the reader can guess which one.

Vulture

I had walked since dawn and lay down to rest on a bare hillside
Above the ocean. I saw through half-shut eyelids a vulture wheeling high up in heaven,
And presently it passed again, but lower and nearer, its orbit narrowing, I understood then
That I was under inspection. I lay death-still and heard the flight-feathers
Whistle above me and make their circle and come nearer.
I could see the naked red head between the great wings
Bear downward staring. I said, “My dear bird, we are wasting time here.
These old bones will still work; they are not for you.” But how beautiful he looked, gliding down
On those great sails; how beautiful he looked, veering away in the sea-light over the precipice. I tell you solemnly
That I was sorry to have disappointed him.
To be eaten by that beak and become part of him, to share those wings and those eyes–
What a sublime end of one’s body, what an enskyment; what a life after death.

I tell you, I am a Christian who hopes to take part in the resurrection. But when I read Jeffers, the old pagan longing rises up in me. I want to be enskyed.