Comments on: Pain, poetry, privilege and moral triage http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 02:29:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Hugo Schwyzer http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159902 Hugo Schwyzer Fri, 30 Nov 2007 20:49:30 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159902 Indeed, Donna. I often get comments from "friends" who say things like "You'll never please those people, why even try?" They may genuinely be trying to reassure me, but what they're really doing is trying to get me to stop engaging in dialogue that might actually make some headway. Sometimes, I need to quote my Lord, who when tempted by ol' Peter to give up one aspect of his mission, told him "Get thee behind me, Satan!" And that's what I say to anyone who wants me to STOP dialoguing with my critics. Indeed, Donna.

I often get comments from “friends” who say things like “You’ll never please those people, why even try?” They may genuinely be trying to reassure me, but what they’re really doing is trying to get me to stop engaging in dialogue that might actually make some headway.

Sometimes, I need to quote my Lord, who when tempted by ol’ Peter to give up one aspect of his mission, told him “Get thee behind me, Satan!” And that’s what I say to anyone who wants me to STOP dialoguing with my critics.

]]> By: Donna http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159834 Donna Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:40:17 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159834 I've heard that, "bless his/her heart", one before and would have picked up on it. Thank you for the explanation on "well-meaning". I am relieved you meant it that way, because during other internet flame wars there have been some very unhelpful people jumping in siding with normative and status quo who if you are normative and status quo could be seen as well meaning. For example, with Rosie O'Donnell and her ching chong thing on The View. Asian people were trying to explain why it's hurtful, why slurs can lead to violence, etc. But there was this contingent of her fans telling her, don't apologize to those oversensitive Chinese people, we know it was just a joke. And she fell for it! She was answering, Yeah fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. From a white privileged perspective those fans were just trying to make her feel better, which could be taken as well meaning, "Don't let the meanies get you down" kind of way. I was worried that is how you saw what that person said. The same, "Hey Hugo some of us are on your side!" but they aren't if they keep you from learning anything or becoming a better teacher or even having an honest dialogue. I’ve heard that, “bless his/her heart”, one before and would have picked up on it. Thank you for the explanation on “well-meaning”. I am relieved you meant it that way, because during other internet flame wars there have been some very unhelpful people jumping in siding with normative and status quo who if you are normative and status quo could be seen as well meaning. For example, with Rosie O’Donnell and her ching chong thing on The View. Asian people were trying to explain why it’s hurtful, why slurs can lead to violence, etc. But there was this contingent of her fans telling her, don’t apologize to those oversensitive Chinese people, we know it was just a joke. And she fell for it! She was answering, Yeah fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. From a white privileged perspective those fans were just trying to make her feel better, which could be taken as well meaning, “Don’t let the meanies get you down” kind of way. I was worried that is how you saw what that person said. The same, “Hey Hugo some of us are on your side!” but they aren’t if they keep you from learning anything or becoming a better teacher or even having an honest dialogue.

]]> By: Hugo Schwyzer http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159795 Hugo Schwyzer Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:10:32 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159795 Donna, I use the term "well-meaning" the same way my Southern relatives use the term "oh, bless his (her) heart" -- as a polite way of saying to someone that they really, really missed the boat. We all have our tools for discourse, and one of mine is the use of exaggerated civility as irony. Donna, I use the term “well-meaning” the same way my Southern relatives use the term “oh, bless his (her) heart” — as a polite way of saying to someone that they really, really missed the boat.

We all have our tools for discourse, and one of mine is the use of exaggerated civility as irony.

]]> By: Donna http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159729 Donna Fri, 30 Nov 2007 13:11:09 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/11/29/pain-poetry-privilege-and-moral-triage/#comment-159729 Well-meaning? You gotta be kidding, someone says something that racist, and it's well-meaning? So a guy comes to a feminist blog and says something like women are all whiners just looking for an excuse to be angry and would it be ok to characterize that as "well-meaning"? Because that is what your well-meaning commenter said about WOC. It makes me wonder if you actually read what Ilyka wrote, or just skimmed it. Well-meaning? You gotta be kidding, someone says something that racist, and it’s well-meaning? So a guy comes to a feminist blog and says something like women are all whiners just looking for an excuse to be angry and would it be ok to characterize that as “well-meaning”? Because that is what your well-meaning commenter said about WOC. It makes me wonder if you actually read what Ilyka wrote, or just skimmed it.

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