I also sense an almost puritanical attitude towards (male) masturbation. It is actually very healthy for the prostrate.

Damn, what about those of us who are upright?

As far as the guys jacking-off: Let’s just say a single male has access to a nude beach. He often goes nude and enjoys swimming au naturel. He sometimes see’s some of the nudist women who go there and a few who are regulars are comfortable enough with him to say “hi” and even stand close to him. He never does anything rude or innapropriate. He doesn’t need Playboy as the images of tatas from the day flash through his mind. Is he objectifying these women by fantasizing about them? Is the guy who fantasizes about a fully clothed co-worker degrading her?

I also sense an almost puritanical attitude towards (male) masturbation. It is actually very healthy for the prostrate. (So the question would be weather images of porn create unhealthy relationships between men and women rather than is “jacking-off” wrong. Guys are gonna whack no matter what and the guys who claim self-control either have low drives or intense discipline.

Sam, you’re confusing an ethical issue with an aesthetic one, as the philosophers would say. It’s one thing to say “I like soccer but don’t expect other people to share my passion” and another altogether to say “I like not killing animals but don’t expect other people to share that commitment.” Ethical issues (animal abuse, slavery, child pornography) are not mere aesthetic choices, and we have an obligation to do all we can to convince others to see things as we see them. I don’t expect other people to share my passion for peanut butter or soccer or the color pink; but I do think it is reasonable for any of us to make a case, as best we can, that others adopt our moral positions.

I became a vegan not because of a natural lack of taste for meat but because of a moral argument that was made to me that ultimately proved convincing. I stopped using pornography for exactly the same reason.

All moral positions are in opposition to our nature: we are violent creatures by our nature, inclined not only to eat animals but also to murder each other. The purpose of society is to redirect our worst impulses. Justice and non-violence and veganism do not come naturally to many of us, neither does using a toilet instead of shitting our pants.

I don’t think anyone should commit rape or genocide, and I don’t think anyone should eat meat. That is not a mere personal preference, but a claim to a universal truth. Some people claim that rape is natural and therefore to be tolerated, and I see no reason why I should give that position credence.

“and we can’t change how we think about women until we change how we fantasize about women.”

as this post came up through the new comment, I was reminded that you once promised in the comment section of some post to write about this - “May I, Male in Question, whack off? If so, what may I look at and/or think about as I whack off?”” - your understanding of ethical masturbation, objectification, and how fantasizing is, in your opinion, logically possible without “objectification”.

“For me, I want everyone to be vegan, of course.”

This is, I suppose, a statemtent that goes a long way in explaining why I often feel put off by your statements even though they contain a lot I agree with. Just because I happen to believe in something doesn’t make it necessarily right for everyone else. I like soccer, but I don’t care if other people don’t. I think that humans CAN exist as pure herbivores, but in the “natural order of things” humans developed as both carnivores and herbivores, omnivores. So, limiting yourself consciously may be a great and right thing for you, but claiming that your conscious decision should be the conscious decision of everyone else, even if it opposed to their evolutionary heritage is a bit much.

There’s a HUGE difference between arguing that people’s human rights are violated (or not) and preaching “mind to matter” articles of faith both with respect to veganism and when it comes to sexual fantasies.

An intriguing male perspective in this post. It’s impact on the developing sexuality of females can be as equally damaging imho. It’s not like women don’t seek it themselves either.

Many sexually offensive/vilifying ads have actually been designed by women, where female marketing executives have often been quoted as truly believing it’s “empowering” shit for women. Have no idea if the female-marketing exec has just been employed as a “well, it was designed by a woman, so what’s you’re fucking problem” dummy in companies to counter complaints from the community.

I’ve tried “fighting” in the past, but have found it far more profitable & productive to focus on producing “new material” (i don’t mean porn, but also don’t mean to cancel out constructive articles/websites/work on sexuality-gender-identity issues etc) ~ which provides great/alternative/positive role-models that are needed, wanted & appreciated by others.

I’ve encountered a few posts here which aims to do similar for men. Well done. It’s a great blog ;)