When that moron shot so many women at the Canadian college, no men were hurt. They bailed. I guess to some that’s progress.

Referring to the resulting endless anti-violence-at-the-hands-of-men activities, Mark Steyn observed that testosterone hadn’t seemed to be the problem.

This is the old “lifeboat” strategy. Women are more important than men because they can have children. A single man can impregnate large numbers of women, but a single woman is limited in the number of children she can have. So traditionally, women have been protected, as well as children–the latter as they are the future of the tribe. Downside is that women get treated as chattel. Can’t have one without the other.

The problem is, we no longer live in tribal society. But we still cling to the customs.

One cannot look twice at the inwardness of a person seen for a couple of seconds. You either put them in a category, or you don’t. If you don’t, you know nothing about them. If you do, you may know something about them. Later on, if the opportunity arises, which it rarely does, you may find out about their personal uniqueness. In the meantime, what about the door?

Respect supercedes honesty unless the issue supercedes respect. “I was just being honest” with a partly-hidden smirk is far too often associated with hurtful speech. Thanks for sharing, but stuff it, would you?

I respect women, which is to say I treat them differently from men, for several reasons. One is–see deBecker–overt acts of respect reduce the threat implicit in coming close to a large, unknown man. In walking on narrow sidewalks, for example, I will get off the sidewalk for a woman walking toward me before it’s absolutely necessary. But not for guys. They take their chances.

There are women who, if I were to treat them no differently from men, would be lacking some of the teeth they had had the day before. But men, knowing things are different, respect other men more than some women do. I imagine nobody wants me to be more even-handed.

I will take physical work from a woman, even if she doesn’t seem to need it, as a courtesy. In addition, whatever she’s doing is half as difficult for me because I’m probably twice, at least, as strong as she. I have less chance of injury, and if the water cooler bottle hits the floor, it’s my fault, not hers.

As a guy, I am expendable, and there’s a reason for it. It’s to protect women and children from that which they cannot fend off themselves. In our current world, the rubber only rarely hits the road, but if I–and most men–were not emotionally prepared, it would be an ill world for weaponless dreamers (points for the reference), I mean for women and children.

I respect women as a category until individual women prove I shouldn’t. Then, I remain polite.

Sure, everyone should know how to stand up for him or herself. But there’s also a lot of value in having an excuse external to oneself. When I was a teenager, if there was a party I didn’t want to go to my mother always made it clear that she would take the ‘blame’ of having kept me in, and this seems very similar. Nowadays I can blame working late or other committments to politely decline, but as a teenager those roads weren’t open to me.

Similarly, in an adult situation, it’s easier to talk about not wanting to have sex, and if someone gets upset at the refusal or offended by the implication he can just be avoided. In many high schools, alienating the wrong people can have drastic consequences for someone’s social life and overall emotional well-being; in addition, a teenager with relatively pure intentions is more likely to take a straightforward “I don’t want to have sex” as an accusation than a similar adult, for reasons of simple maturity. But if someone wants to make it known that she dare not have sex, for reasons not within her control, that’s a far less dangerous method.

sorry to yell, but I’m so glad you feel the same way I do about respect.

a work my boss insisted on helping me change the water cooler bottle because as he said, ” I’m just oldfashioned like that”

If I had in fact been struggling with it and he came in and said “you look like you need a help, can I offer you some?” I would have thought that was nice and may or may not have accepted it.

As it was I spent the whole day feeling a little miffed that I was seen as “merely a woman in need of help” instead of a human being.

Also you might want to check out a great post on chivalry at Feminist allies: http://feministallies.blogspot.com/

I believe you want to direct that question to Fred.

If papa were a real feminist, he’d teach his daughter how to face down teen wolves, and how to use a gun to protect herself. There’s nothing “feminist” about assuming your daughter doesn’t want to have sex and it’s a Father’s Duty to intimidate anyone who might have sex with her by implying violence.

So papa with a gun can empower his daughter and at the same time keep the wolves away. Sounds like papa is a real feminist :)