Comments on: Off for eight days, and an anecdote about wrinkles: UPDATED http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 02:41:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Nina http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-220001 Nina Mon, 04 Feb 2008 06:33:43 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-220001 [SNORT] Is it possible that her father's practice isn't doing so well and that she was just trying to drum up some business? You know....the old "go-into-a-Professor's-office-ostensibly-to-talk-about-the-final-but-then-tell-him-he-should-look-into-plastic-surgery" ploy? Well, Hugo, I'm glad to see you didn't fall for that old chestnut. Seriously, though, I included a typed snort at the beginning of this reply because I actually snorted when I read your post. It's pretty mind-blowing that someone said that to you. Bleah... Anyway, the sad thing about that girl is that plastic surgery can only do so much and by the time she hits 40, she'll by striving in vain, trying to compete with women in their 20s. When such a large part of her identity is about appearing young and beautiful, what will she do? She'll feel like the worthwhile portion of her life is over by the time she hits 40... That's a pretty short lifespan. We all have a choice. Age can be our enemy or our companion...see the excerpt from the poem below.... "Once there was a lovely virgin called Snow White. Say she was thirteen. Her stepmother, a beauty in her own right, though eaten, of course, by age, would hear of no beauty surpassing her own. Beauty is a simple passion, but, oh my friends, in the end you will dance the fire dance in iron shoes. The stepmother had a mirror to which she referred-- something like the weather forecast-- a mirror that proclaimed the one beauty of the land. She would ask, Looking glass upon the wall, who is fairest of us all? And the mirror would reply, You are the fairest of us all. Pride pumped in her like poison." Excerpt from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" by Anne Sexton All right, back to the salt mines (and by that, I mean Civl Pleading and Procedure) Nina [SNORT] Is it possible that her father’s practice isn’t doing so well and that she was just trying to drum up some business? You know….the old “go-into-a-Professor’s-office-ostensibly-to-talk-about-the-final-but-then-tell-him-he-should-look-into-plastic-surgery” ploy? Well, Hugo, I’m glad to see you didn’t fall for that old chestnut. Seriously, though, I included a typed snort at the beginning of this reply because I actually snorted when I read your post. It’s pretty mind-blowing that someone said that to you. Bleah…

Anyway, the sad thing about that girl is that plastic surgery can only do so much and by the time she hits 40, she’ll by striving in vain, trying to compete with women in their 20s. When such a large part of her identity is about appearing young and beautiful, what will she do? She’ll feel like the worthwhile portion of her life is over by the time she hits 40… That’s a pretty short lifespan. We all have a choice. Age can be our enemy or our companion…see the excerpt from the poem below….

“Once there was a lovely virgin
called Snow White.
Say she was thirteen.
Her stepmother,
a beauty in her own right,
though eaten, of course, by age,
would hear of no beauty surpassing her own.
Beauty is a simple passion,
but, oh my friends, in the end
you will dance the fire dance in iron shoes.
The stepmother had a mirror to which she referred–
something like the weather forecast–
a mirror that proclaimed
the one beauty of the land.
She would ask,
Looking glass upon the wall,
who is fairest of us all?
And the mirror would reply,
You are the fairest of us all.
Pride pumped in her like poison.”

Excerpt from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” by Anne Sexton

All right, back to the salt mines (and by that, I mean Civl Pleading and Procedure)

Nina

]]> By: Karen http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-182805 Karen Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:11:07 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-182805 "I tell ya. City living is the real killer." Being inactive is the real killer. I live in a city too and made a choice to walk as much as I can. I have more weight on me than I used too, but I'm in much better shape shape, both physically and spiritually. I think it more attitude, because that is what motivates one to get out and be or get active. Walking is also a healthy choice for me both physically and mentally and a good choice for the environment. I too walk more when it's warmer, but I must say that I enjoy getting bundled up and walking at the park during winter. Winter offers a quieter and more serene beauty--the trees, light, snow and angle of the sun. I have a favorite place where I go to observe the geese and ducks and it is a treat to watch them take off flying in formation or come in for a landing on the lake. When one walks, one is more observant of their surroundings and it gives me more of a sense of being part of the community. I'll always miss where I lived in California--the rural areas and the sea, but I've grown to appreciate all the beauty I see where I live now and it's not hard to find it, if one stops to find it. “I tell ya. City living is the real killer.”

Being inactive is the real killer. I live in a city too and made a choice to walk as much as I can. I have more weight on me than I used too, but I’m in much better shape shape, both physically and spiritually. I think it more attitude, because that is what motivates one to get out and be or get active. Walking is also a healthy choice for me both physically and mentally and a good choice for the environment. I too walk more when it’s warmer, but I must say that I enjoy getting bundled up and walking at the park during winter. Winter offers a quieter and more serene beauty–the trees, light, snow and angle of the sun. I have a favorite place where I go to observe the geese and ducks and it is a treat to watch them take off flying in formation or come in for a landing on the lake. When one walks, one is more observant of their surroundings and it gives me more of a sense of being part of the community. I’ll always miss where I lived in California–the rural areas and the sea, but I’ve grown to appreciate all the beauty I see where I live now and it’s not hard to find it, if one stops to find it.

]]> By: Katie http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-181335 Katie Thu, 27 Dec 2007 01:19:11 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-181335 //City living is the real killer.// I don't know about that, I've never been in as good of shape as I have been since I moved to the city. I walk everywhere. It's the 'burbs that are killer -- all that driving! When I lived in the suburbs, I never left my car! Now I've eschewed the car, and I usually walk a couple of miles a day in the winter, much more when it's warmer. //City living is the real killer.//

I don’t know about that, I’ve never been in as good of shape as I have been since I moved to the city. I walk everywhere. It’s the ‘burbs that are killer — all that driving! When I lived in the suburbs, I never left my car! Now I’ve eschewed the car, and I usually walk a couple of miles a day in the winter, much more when it’s warmer.

]]> By: Karen http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-181000 Karen Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:28:42 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-181000 Oh Hugo, I'm sorry to hear that you've had an unpleasant encounter with an insensitive, mindless dolt! It is not surprising given the vastness of their numbers! What did surprise me though was that men are on the receiving end of such shallow commentaries about their looks. I guess I tended to feel that most ugly and unsolicited comments about physical attractiveness were targeted exclusively towards women. It certainly has felt that way. And don't get me started on "weight issues". Anyway, I don't think her mental lapse and desent into rude behavior and offering unsolicited criticisms stemmed from her good intentions. No, I think she's an arrogant, thoughtless busybody who was drumming up business for daddy. I've been on the receiving end of plenty of offensive commentaries about my physical looks. I agree with Mermade's sentiments and also those of Angiportus, however it is doubtful that those in dire need of Emily Post and Miss Manners basic etiquette advice would bother to read them let alone heed their advice--such is the way of the truly mindless. And just like Angiportus, I've also been on the receiving end of countless utterances from "people finding abnormalities and flaws in my body, and precious few strong points to balance them out". The truly mindless are good at inventing flaws and consumerism is built upon manipulating insecurities. I guess I've learned to write them off, although I will say that I think few people are immune to insults aimed at their physical attributes. However, I'm no longer quiet about people's unsolicited comments and confront them on their mindlessness. Oh Hugo, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had an unpleasant encounter with an insensitive, mindless dolt! It is not surprising given the vastness of their numbers! What did surprise me though was that men are on the receiving end of such shallow commentaries about their looks. I guess I tended to feel that most ugly and unsolicited comments about physical attractiveness were targeted exclusively towards women. It certainly has felt that way. And don’t get me started on “weight issues”. Anyway, I don’t think her mental lapse and desent into rude behavior and offering unsolicited criticisms stemmed from her good intentions. No, I think she’s an arrogant, thoughtless busybody who was drumming up business for daddy. I’ve been on the receiving end of plenty of offensive commentaries about my physical looks. I agree with Mermade’s sentiments and also those of Angiportus, however it is doubtful that those in dire need of Emily Post and Miss Manners basic etiquette advice would bother to read them let alone heed their advice–such is the way of the truly mindless. And just like Angiportus, I’ve also been on the receiving end of countless utterances from “people finding abnormalities and flaws in my body, and precious few strong points to balance them out”. The truly mindless are good at inventing flaws and consumerism is built upon manipulating insecurities. I guess I’ve learned to write them off, although I will say that I think few people are immune to insults aimed at their physical attributes. However, I’m no longer quiet about people’s unsolicited comments and confront them on their mindlessness.

]]> By: The Gonzman http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176749 The Gonzman Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:16:12 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176749 I think the only thing I really do different is that I stay active. And while I belong to a gym, that is not what I mean. I'm competing in my medieval combat re-enactment, hiking, hunting, working my -Farm? (I dunno what you'd call it. More of a homestead) running my business, and not from behind a desk. This is why, I think, even though I don't "eat right" and do a lot of hell-raising, that I have my Cholesterol and triglycerides low too. I tell ya. City living is the real killer. I think the only thing I really do different is that I stay active.

And while I belong to a gym, that is not what I mean. I’m competing in my medieval combat re-enactment, hiking, hunting, working my -Farm? (I dunno what you’d call it. More of a homestead) running my business, and not from behind a desk.

This is why, I think, even though I don’t “eat right” and do a lot of hell-raising, that I have my Cholesterol and triglycerides low too.

I tell ya. City living is the real killer.

]]> By: Mermade http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176730 Mermade Fri, 21 Dec 2007 18:45:43 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176730 You may be younger than me, Gonz, in terms of your health. I am 20 years old and high blood pressure: a couple months ago, the doctor noticed that it was 140/90. I am scared that it will get higher as I age... You may be younger than me, Gonz, in terms of your health. I am 20 years old and high blood pressure: a couple months ago, the doctor noticed that it was 140/90. I am scared that it will get higher as I age…

]]> By: Older http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176462 Older Fri, 21 Dec 2007 12:00:55 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176462 I didn't use to be "older," but I had gray hair from an early age. I used to tell people who commented that it was adult plumage and some day they would have it too. When they were all grown up, like me. I didn’t use to be “older,” but I had gray hair from an early age. I used to tell people who commented that it was adult plumage and some day they would have it too. When they were all grown up, like me.

]]> By: The Gonzman http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176257 The Gonzman Fri, 21 Dec 2007 06:03:49 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-176257 Heh. I got carded until into my thirties, and at my 25th reunion I was accused of having plastic surgery. And I still fit into my basketball uniform. And my blood pressure, at approaching 50, is 110/72 as of my checkup last week. Yes. I am gloating. I'd like to credit it to clean living. But that would be a lie. Heh.

I got carded until into my thirties, and at my 25th reunion I was accused of having plastic surgery. And I still fit into my basketball uniform.

And my blood pressure, at approaching 50, is 110/72 as of my checkup last week.

Yes. I am gloating.

I’d like to credit it to clean living. But that would be a lie.

]]> By: Elaine Vigneault http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-175560 Elaine Vigneault Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:01:49 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-175560 <blockquote>it made me think about how often, say, overweight people are given “well-meaning” (and deeply cruel) diet tips and the like.</blockquote> That's great. You took a negative experience and learned and grew from it to empathize with other people. That's great. I wish we had better ways of dealing with those kinds of insults. I think you responded politely, but it didn't get the message across that her suggestion was inappropriate, rude, and possibly hurtful.

it made me think about how often, say, overweight people are given “well-meaning” (and deeply cruel) diet tips and the like.

That’s great. You took a negative experience and learned and grew from it to empathize with other people. That’s great.

I wish we had better ways of dealing with those kinds of insults. I think you responded politely, but it didn’t get the message across that her suggestion was inappropriate, rude, and possibly hurtful.

]]> By: Steve http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-174638 Steve Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:14:07 +0000 http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/12/18/off-for-eight-days-and-an-anecdote-about-wrinkles/#comment-174638 I love watching my face grow older. I've even stopped Henna'ing my hair, and am loving my encroaching greyness. Age=experience=wisdom, and I'm all about that. The distinction with what's said to overweight people is that it's quite possible that the overweight person is damaging their health by remaining as overweight as the are... so people who genuinely care might be lead to say something. That doesn't mean it'll be any less insensitive, but it does mean that there's a plausible compassionate rationale for trying to 'help' someone lose weight. There's no situation in which the same can be said for suggesting that someone submits their face to the risks of cosmetic surgery in the name of looking 'younger'. FWIW, we probably look about the same age, Hugo, despite me being 5 years younger than you - and I'm more than happy with that. :o) Sx I love watching my face grow older. I’ve even stopped Henna’ing my hair, and am loving my encroaching greyness. Age=experience=wisdom, and I’m all about that.

The distinction with what’s said to overweight people is that it’s quite possible that the overweight person is damaging their health by remaining as overweight as the are… so people who genuinely care might be lead to say something. That doesn’t mean it’ll be any less insensitive, but it does mean that there’s a plausible compassionate rationale for trying to ‘help’ someone lose weight. There’s no situation in which the same can be said for suggesting that someone submits their face to the risks of cosmetic surgery in the name of looking ‘younger’.

FWIW, we probably look about the same age, Hugo, despite me being 5 years younger than you - and I’m more than happy with that. :o)

Sx

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