(I wish Professor Smiler hadn’t used the phrase “horrible stereotype”. I wince at the implication that wanting sex for pleasure is “horrible”. After all, both men and women do sometimes pursue sex outside of the context of an enduring relationship. While dishonesty and manipulation are indeed “horrible”, the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake need not be accompanied by deceit or abuse. It’s “slut-shaming” at its most tiresome to suggest otherwise.)

I agree with your assessment that pursuing pleasure for the sake of pleasure is not a bad thing. Dishonesty and manipulation are. However that “horrible stereotype” is of teenage boys who lie, manipulate and use teenage girls, not only for sexual pleasure but also to gain esteem with their friends. Therefore it is a “horrible stereotype”.

http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2008/01/30/yay-for-teen-sex/

Follow the links to the actual study; it is worth reading. The gyst is that the Dutch have very different attitudes about teenage sex and love. For them, both are natural (both that teenagers can love each other and that two people in love will want to have sex). The Dutch trust the their teenages to make the decision for themselves (the decision being when they are ready) and talk to their children about how to be responsible. The result is that they have a much lower teen pregnancy and abortion rate than we do.

The main contrast is that American parents (many) don’t believe that teenagers can love each other. Nor do they believe that teenagers can be responsible enough to make decisions for themselves.

I remember my mother telling (over and over again) that men only want sex, even though I dated the same guy for 4 years when I was a teenager. Whether she knew that we were having sex or not, he was obviously not only in it for the sex.