My partner has just started “grooming” me…plucking hairs that bother him. He is quite obsessive in general, though. Maybe it is an obsessive/compulsive thing??

In relation to Ed’s comment, I dated a Filipino man for a while. He also “groomed” me, but in a more general sense. He liked to dry and brush my hair for me when I/we got out of the shower. He liked me to do the same (he had long waist length straight hair.)

In response specifically to Hugo’s situations… People who get involved with partners who are addicts (drugs, alcohol or otherwise) tend to have a very strong urge to nurture. People who come from families who have problems with addiction as well tend to have a strong urge to nurture. It is one of the aspects of the cycle (of coming from a family with addiction problems and getting into a relationship with addiction problems) that is most difficult to break.

My family has problems with alcoholism and various other drugs at different points. Alcohol has always been the foundation of the problem. My mother left my father after 35 years and got back into a relationship with a man whom she completely takes care of. The only difference is lack of alcohol and the violence that goes with it. A brother of mine (the most responsible of the 3) has a tendency to get involved with women who need “to be taken care of” (emotionally and financially). I rebelled against the urge to nurture someone physically when I started to realize where it got my mother. However, I still have a tendency to attrack men who need a lot of emotional nurturing.

I don’t get the same urge when I see the hairs sprouting on my legs, for instance, so it’s definitely not the POLICE POLICE habit in my case that other people have mentioned. It’s more to do with showing care and familiarity, almost assuming the other’s body as one’s own, in a good way (ie ultimately respecting the other person’s wishes).

Oh yes, and we are not from the US, either. I suspect that US culture is more likely to influence people towards feeling revolted at the thought of picking and plopping others than to encourage them to engage in this. Physical impurities and imperfections are not as big a deal elsewhere - they aren’t as likely to be equated with lack of hygiene in general (gleaming white theeth for instance are likely to be thought of as weird and unnatural rather than ideal).

My most recent ex also underwent my grooming, and although I asked him over and over to tell me if it hurt, he never protested. I did it less and less as he grew into the habit of washing his face properly. Zits, in my family, have more to do with lack of hygiene than physical attractiveness. Blackheads are essentially dirt. Whiteheads are packs of oil under skin. Why anyone would want to walk around with those on is somewhat beyond me.