Hugo, you took a shot at MRAs (”all too familiar,” “noxious”) and highlighted part of the her text on domestic abuse; it isn’t fair to turn around and tell whomever not to respond on what is, after all, part of Amanda Marcotte’s book. People aren’t “trolls” simply because they espouse a different point of view.

Amanda, I sincerely give you credit for acknowledging the existence of men abused by women, but will point out that The Centers for Disease Control report of last year, among other studies, strongly state that these men do not constitute a “vanishingly small minority.” Yes, there is a disturbingly high rate of violence within the gay and lesbian community (and as a supporter of gay rights as well as men’s rights and women’s rights I hold that this needs to be addressed more), but a large percentage of abuse is, indeed, female-on-male, and I truly don’t understand why some feel that simply pointing to the facts will cause any harm to women or to feminism. You don’t do abused women any favors by ignoring abused men, just as you don’t help white victims of identity theft by ignoring victims who happen to be of other races.

You’re right we would just shoot our eyes out.

I generally admire what you say, but i think you are off on the stats about DV. getting help for all the victims of DV is not helped by the heated rhetoric about who is more often the victim.there is a considerable technical debate in the social service and DV communities about the extent of DV among many groups. DV is likely highly underreported among straight and gay men, lesbians and the elderly.

Women, statistically and in my experience, are certainly far more often the victims of violence without a doubt but the point should be that being violent to loved ones is wrong. if we are to advocate for less violence it seems we need to show respect for who suffer whether they are in a big or small group.

This will be news to the men who have been arrested after their wives/girlfriends broke a nail while striking them. THIS is what the men I assist have to deal with. They aren’t abusive men with wives/girlfriends who are “finally fighting back;” they’re legitimate victims who’ve never been the aggressors. I’m still trying to find a plainer way to put that.