Archive for March, 2008

No break from the “heavy beast”: on teaching, the body, and the danger of triggering

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 19, 2008
in Body, Feminism, Feminist Pedagogy and Teaching
. 3 Comments

In my Humanities class on “Beauty and the Body”, we’ve been comparing some of the various theories about the etiology of modern eating disorders. It’s a lot of ground to cover: medical models, cultural models, psychological models. (Today, we begin talking about Courtney Martin’s wonderful new book: Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.) It’s a tough class to teach for many reasons, not the least of which is that so much of the material is automatically triggering for some who are already struggling with “body issues.”

Over the last two lectures, I’ve been talking about everything from Western mind/body dualism to the Mosaic law to Sigmund Freud. The basic case is simple: much of our culture, for a variety of historical reasons, teaches us the Gnostic notion that the soul, our truest self, is imprisoned in a corrupt and foul body. The “heavy beast” that is always with us is our flesh, but these voices tell us that the “real self” is somewhere deep inside, an ethereal spirit locked in a corporeal cage. The notion that the body, with all its effluvia and its frailties, is disgusting and offensive is deeply rooted in several strands of the Western tradition. And these strands all contribute to a contemporary culture in which self-denial becomes virtue. After all, to pick the anorectic example, a woman who starves herself to the point that her periods stop and her bowel movements become very infrequent has, in a very real sense, given herself an illusion of mastery and purity. If the body’s demands and emissions are dirty, then self-starvation becomes not only about self-denial but about ritualized cleansing and transcendence. Continue reading ‘No break from the “heavy beast”: on teaching, the body, and the danger of triggering’

Blowback in the L.A. Times

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 19, 2008
in Mass media
. 2 Comments

I’m happy to say that yesterday’s post has been revised and is published as today’s Los Angeles Times “blowback” opinion: It’s Not All About Wurtzel. I worked in a nod to Jessica Valenti and Amanda Marcotte (both of whom have Wikipedia entries); the new book by the latter is on my desk and will be reviewed here by this time next week.

Defeatism and global change: on “Women Thrive” and a downcast Elizabeth Wurtzel

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 18, 2008
in Feminism
. 6 Comments

Women Thrive Worldwide has launched a new campaign to publicize their fight against global poverty — poverty that so often wears a woman’s face. Hundreds of millions of women survive on about one dollar a day or less; the president of Women Thrive, Ritu Sharma Fox, traveled recently to Nicaragua (one of the poorest countries in our hemisphere) to document what one dollar a day really means. You can read her diary or look at a photo album.

Women Thrive serves as an umbrella organization, uniting more than 50 non-profits (from Lutheran World Relief to the Muslim Women’s Coalition) to advocate for policies that can better the lives of women — and their families — in the poorest countries of the world.

Women Thrive Worldwide has issued a “dollar a day” challenge, asking those who can to consider contributing one dollar a day for a year to the cause of combatting poverty by empowering women. You can donate here.

I’m pleased to blog in support of Women Thrive, and as I do so, I have this Los Angeles Times op-ed by Elizabeth Wurtzel on my brain: Bitter Ashes of Burned Brassieres. I knew I was going to hype Women Thrive this morning, and I had that in the back of my mind as I read this in the paper:

Am I the only one who feels that last week’s news events prove that the women’s movement has failed?

First, the first woman to run for vice president on a major party ticket alienates everybody who the first woman with a real chance to be president hasn’t alienated already. Then we find out that there are prostitutes who are paid $5,500 an hour, and the consolation prize for earning a Harvard law degree is that you get to stand by your husband’s side when he resigns from public office in disgrace. Even worse, because Silda Wall Spitzer is accomplished and beautiful, the whole scene serves as a grim reminder that even amazing women become sexually disposable after a certain age.

Is this the world that feminism hath wrought?

Look, I’m upset about the Ferraro thing for a variety of reasons, and I’ve said my piece about Eliot and Silda Spitzer. But to somehow connect the bitter progressive in-fighting within the Democratic party and the misbehavior of one state’s governor to feminism’s failures seems, well, a wild leap even for Elizabeth Wurtzel. I’ve been a fan of Wurtzel for years; her Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women had moments of stunning insight; more than many of her peers who got book deals in the 1990s, Wurtzel had an uncanny ability to connect her personal struggles to those of women everywhere. And her first book, Prozac Nation, is likely to be read years from now by social historians not yet born, eager to understand middle-class adolescent anxieties in fin-de-siecle America. And as much as I have admired Wurtzel’s work in the past, her op-ed this morning struck me as both confused and silly. Continue reading ‘Defeatism and global change: on “Women Thrive” and a downcast Elizabeth Wurtzel’

Another in the Older Men, Younger Women series: sex, power, and redemptive aggression

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 17, 2008
in Older Men & Younger Women
. 20 Comments

I still get letters about the Older Men, Younger Women topic. A very long one came in last week from a 27 year-old woman, “Elizabeth.” Excerpts:

I wanted to write to ask about my desires to be with older men. I am now 27, and I realize you were more concerned about women in their teens to early twenties, but this desire is nothing new. I have always been attracted to men much older than me (with regards to my age- ie a 5 year difference isn’t a big deal at 27, but when I was 17 and was talking to a 22 year old it was significant). I am wondering if this is a pattern that is a result of being the victim of sexual abuse/molestation? When I was 14 my first sexual experience EVER was with a man who was related thru marriage- an uncle married to one of my mother’s sisters. I would imagine he was in his thirtees at the time, but strangely enough I don’t think I ever felt like I had major issues over the matter. There was nothing obvious. No lingering feelings of guilt, no nightmares. I never think about it, which is why I wonder if my desire to be with older men is my brain’s subliminal way of “fixing” the matter- I have heard of a couple of defense mechanism victims of sexual abuse or rape will employ. One is “identify with aggressor” which I think I may have done for a period during my life.

Elizabeth shares a colorful history of sexual relationships with older men. Her “pattern”, if there is one, is to be in relationships with older men who don’t habitually pursue younger women. As she puts it, she “relished the attention and basked in the glow” that came from men who were, it seems, surprised by her evident interest in them. Elizabeth is now starting “something new” with a man of 53, almost twice her age. He’s interested, but a little stunned by her forthrightness and aggressiveness; she writes that “I enjoy my new man’s flustered reactions.” Continue reading ‘Another in the Older Men, Younger Women series: sex, power, and redemptive aggression’

Running alone on Palm Sunday

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 17, 2008
in Christianity and Faith
. 14 Comments

It’s Holy Week, and we’re heading towards the earliest Easter (in the Roman Calendar) since 1913. Yesterday was Palm Sunday, and for the first time in a decade, I wasn’t in church to mark the memorial of Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem.

Lately, I’ve taken to telling people I’m “between churches.” It sounds like “between jobs” or “between relationships”, and honestly, sometimes, that’s how I feel. In the decade since I came back to Christ, I’ve been in senior leadership in two churches, and twice ended up resigning that leadership as a result of butting heads with staff. When I left All Saints Pasadena last summer, I pledged I wouldn’t seek out any leadership post in my new church (whichever one that was to be.) And I went to a few churches (especially the Warehouse community), where against all of my ENFP instincts, I sat quietly in the back.

What happened was predictable: when I sit quietly in the back anywhere, I end up losing interest. My mind wanders. The only way I can honor a commitment to show up is if I’m placed in a position of trust. If I know other people expect me and are relying on me, I’m there. If it’s just little ol’ me sitting in a chair in the midst of a large group, I instantly find excuses not to go. My faith is too fragile and too individual to get me to church as a “worshipper among worshippers”; being a leader is usually the only thing that will guarantee my appearance. Continue reading ‘Running alone on Palm Sunday’

New look, and an empty nail salon

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 16, 2008
in Blogging and Money
. 6 Comments

The new look of the blog is almost complete, thanks to Lauren of Faux Real Tho. The header uses a photo I shot in Buenos Aires, in the La Recoleta cemetary last month. My biggest weakness as a writer is a tendency towards airy pompousness, what Louis MacNeice would call the “permanent bottleneck of highmindedness.” Somehow, this picture seems like a clever representation of that aspect of my blogging. Lauren has also upgraded all the Wordpress features, and the blog should have a cleaner look.

In any event, we’re starting to see anecdotal evidence of the recession here. Every very couple of weeks, I get a manicure and a pedicure at a nail salon in the “old town” section. My beloved really appreciates it; my tendency to scratch her with my sharp and wicked toenails had become tiresome. And I confess that when I do do my own nails, I have this awful, wretched habit of leaving clippings strewn about. It’s inexcusable and disgusting, but there it is.

Normally, on a Sunday, the salon would be packed (with a clientele that is perhaps 25% male). Today, there was only one other person getting a “mani/pedi” during my nearly one hour there. I asked the woman who was giving me the manicure whether business had been slow, and she said “Oh my gosh, yes. It just started two weeks ago. The gas prices started going up again, and all of a sudden, wham! It’s been really bad. We’re really worried; we’re one of the first things people cut back on when the economy gets weak.”

The local Whole Foods was surprisingly empty for a Sunday afternoon as well. The traffic was as bad as ever on the streets, however. I have a feeling that in this case, the plural of anecdote will indeed be data — bitter data in the first quarter consumer spending report.

And I’ve picked my men’s final four: UCLA, Georgetown, North Carolina, Pittsburgh. The women’s bracket comes out tomorrow.

A loyal wearer of the green

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 15, 2008
in Clothing and Fashion and Holidays
. 3 Comments

I’ve got a great many things to do this Saturday afternoon, but not so busy that I couldn’t go digging through my closet to make sure I had a green shirt to wear for teaching on Monday, St. Patrick’s Day.

There are very few annual holiday rituals with which I have always been consistent. I’ve decorated a Christmas tree almost every year in my memory, but I can recall one or two years where I missed out on that tradition. I’ve hid or hunted for eggs every Easter Sunday for perhaps 37 out of the last 40 years, but my memory tells me I didn’t have that chance in 1995, 1996, or 2000. And I’ve worn red or pink on the Fourth of July almost as consistently, but do remember being resplendent in blue seer-sucker in 1993 or ‘94.

Yet every single March 17 in my memory — which extends at least back to kindergarten 35 years ago — I’ve worn green. In elementary school and middle school, failing to wear green was an invitation to being pinched and pummeled. A few times, the green I wore was of the wrong hue; I learned as early as six or seven that the bullies reserved the right to make a final assessment about the sufficiency of the green in which I was clad. And, to be honest, I joined gleefully (and fairly gently) in the pinching of those who through forgetfulness or the desire for attention had nothing verdant upon them. Continue reading ‘A loyal wearer of the green’

Humiliation and becoming human: how erectile dysfunction made me a better man, husband, and person

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 14, 2008
in Body, Favorite Posts 2008, Memories, Men and Masculinity, Penis, Relationships, Sexual ethics and transformation and Sexuality
. 31 Comments

I count fellow Angeleno and men’s rights advocate Glenn Sacks as a friend, even though he and I are likely to disagree on virtually every issue. I winced a bit, however, at his rather snarky linking to my re-post in praise of erectile dysfunction. Glenn writes:

I guess if it’s humiliating to men, it must be good. Feminist professor/blogger Hugo Schwyzer recently wrote a blog post “in praise of ED.” Schwyzer writes:

“In my Humanities class on the ‘body’ yesterday, I noted in passing that there was much to be said for erectile dysfunction. I have always maintained that men would be far more insufferable than they otherwise are trained to be if the penis was, in fact, a muscle entirely under their control….ED literally softens the penis; it can also figuratively soften a man by forcing him to rethink his allegiance to a cruel and unattainable standard.”

In light of this, it kind of reminds me of an odd interaction I had with Hugo when he was on my radio show a couple years ago. We were discussing something related to sex–I can’t remember what–and I said something like “Of course, Hugo, men’s perspectives change as they get older. Like me, I’m sure you’re not quite the stallion you used to be.”

Hugo is a very nice guy, and it’s hard to get him angry over anything, but he was not happy over this remark. I was surprised, and didn’t quite know what to make of it. Any amateur psychologists out there have any ideas?

Uh, amateur psychologists? Leave your remarks over at Glenn’s place, please.

But my praise of periodic bouts of ED is not rooted in the internalized misandry of which I — and all other male feminists — are regularly accused. It’s rooted in many things, not least my own experience, about which more (because there’s a fair amount of TMI) below the cut. Continue reading ‘Humiliation and becoming human: how erectile dysfunction made me a better man, husband, and person’

Friday Random Ten: “my wife’s in Boca Raton and I’m stuck in the San Gabriel Valley” edition

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 14, 2008
in Friday Random Ten
. 1 Comment

My beloved will be back on Monday, and then all this traveling without me stops and we can start going places together again.

Both Girlyman and the Duhks are artists I discovered via Pandora; the first bonus track breaks my heart, and while #5 takes me back to high school, #8 brings me back even further.

1. “God Walks the Dark Hills”, Iris DeMent
2. “This Is Me”, Girlyman
3. “Samson”, Regina Spektor
4. “Dance Hall Girls”, The Duhks
5. “Two Suns in the Sunset”, Pink Floyd
6. “Umbrella”, Rihanna
7. “Tomorrow”, Rosie Thomas
8. “Summer, Highland Falls”, Billy Joel
9. “Radiation Vibe”, Hem
10. “Up to the Mountain” (MLK Song), Patty Griffin

Bonus Track One: “Promise, The”, Tracy Chapman
Bonus Track Two: “Breakin’ the Chains”, Dokken

Revive us again: noting an old post in praise of ED

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 13, 2008
in Body, Men and Masculinity and Sexuality
. 6 Comments

In my Humanities class on the “body” yesterday, I noted in passing that there was much to be said for erectile dysfunction. I have always maintained that men would be far more insufferable than they otherwise are trained to be if the penis was, in fact, a muscle entirely under their control. For those who want to read my original post on the subject, here it is.

The money quote: ED literally softens the penis; it can also figuratively soften a man by forcing him to rethink his allegiance to a cruel and unattainable standard.

“We love your look, but lose fifteen pounds”: of modeling contracts, feminist principles, and the elitist politics of personal purity: UPDATED

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 13, 2008
in Body, Clothing and Fashion, Favorite Posts 2008, Feminism, Money and Teaching
. 43 Comments

One of my students came to me yesterday with a question. “Carine” is twenty, and has already taken four of my classes here. She’s getting ready to transfer on to a four-year school, and she’s doing so — to my considerable delight — as a women’s studies major.

Carine is an independent student, and has lived on her own for several years. She’s entirely self-supporting, and her parents have contributed nothing towards her college education. (This is a very common story here.) She is taking a full load of classes, and working a great many shifts as a server in a West Los Angeles restaurant. Though the tips are good, she’s barely scraping by. Her twelve year-old Camry is on the verge of complete collapse. Something’s gotta give.

Since she was in high school, Carine has done a little bit of modeling here and there; it’s provided a little extra pocket money from time to time, nothing too significant. But now, with transfer looming and the economy hitting the restaurant business, she’s decided to investigate making her modeling more serious. She has the right look, and earlier this week, she met with one of the better-known agencies in town. They loved her face and her portfolio, and were quite willing to sign Carine to a “conditional” contract. The “conditions”: lose three inches off her hips and drop fifteen pounds off her already lanky frame. The agency would check in her with regularly to assess her “progress”; if she did as she was asked, she could be assured of steady work. There’s no question that taking this contract would make a huge difference to Carine. It will enable her to transfer, to stay on course for her degree (in women’s studies, heaven be praised), to remain independent.

Carine is a self-described “staunch feminist”. She took my women’s studies class and was hooked; she regularly e-mails me for “more books, please!” I send her reading suggestions at a staggering rate, and she ploughs through them just as fast. And Carine, like so many young feminists I’ve known, was worried about whether taking this contract would compromise those infamous “feminist credentials.” She said something like: “I know the fashion industry sends a lot of destructive messages to women. If I lose this weight, do I become part of that destructive message? Am I hurting other women as well as myself?” Continue reading ‘“We love your look, but lose fifteen pounds”: of modeling contracts, feminist principles, and the elitist politics of personal purity: UPDATED’

Thursday Short Poem: Brackenbury’s “6:25″

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 13, 2008
in Poetry
. 2 Comments

Alison Brackenbury’s short poem is the very thing for this first week of daylight savings time. It’s been awfully dark the past few mornings, and I was up a bit before the time she chooses as her title. Then again, I’ve only once in my adult life been in England in December; the lateness of the dawn was unbelievably dispiriting.

6:25

My day begins with darkness
Since I get up too soon.
Hung vast above the garage end
A brilliant moon
Ignores the morning radio,
White sea without an ebb
Freezes the lithe ash twigs
A glittered web.

The light is metal, deep and pure.
It is what Plato’s cave
Ached for, truth, the throb of power
His shadows gave.

It borrows from the animals
Snow of the owl’s wing
Flash of the badger’s white cheek, wet
From tunnelling.

Gleams slide from gutter, shed and slate,
The radio plays on.
I burn my toast. The east turns blue.
The moon has gone.

Shared ambition, shared humiliation: some thoughts on women, marriage and public betrayal

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 12, 2008
in Feminism, Marriage and Relationships
. 32 Comments

With complete predictability in the aftermath of the Eliot Spitzer scandal, the media has begun a frenzied analysis of how exactly it is that wives ought to respond to their husbands’ very public infidelities. The Los Angeles Times runs a story this morning about Silda Spitzer, connecting her to the suffering political spouses before her: Wife puts troubling face on the Spitzer scandal. In the San Francisco Chronicle, Joe Garofali asks Why do political wives stand by their men? And Dr. Laura, whose ability to find fault with women for everything is near-legendary, suggested on the Today Show that wives “share the blame” for their husbands’ philandering. (Next week, she explains how women’s materialism led to the sub-prime mortgage crisis!)

The feminist response to Spitzer himself is fairly straightforward: anger, shock, disappointment. But the media — and ordinary folks — seem eager for those who identify as feminists to offer up a “protocol” for how a “real feminist” woman ought to respond to the revelation of her husband’s betrayal. And the frustrating thing, of course, is that the spouse is immediately placed in a no-win situation. If she appears in public by her husband’s side (as so many have done), she risks the accusation that she is a “doormat”, or that she is willing to sacrifice her dignity for the sake of her husband’s career. If she doesn’t appear, she’s unsupportive, abandoning him in his hour of great need and crisis. She garners sympathy, but that sympathy tends to be contingent upon how well the wife lives up to the observer’s expectation of how a wife “ought” to behave. If she deviates from the script, the scorn that awaits her from all sides is as great as that directed towards her husband — if not greater. Continue reading ‘Shared ambition, shared humiliation: some thoughts on women, marriage and public betrayal’

Face Lift

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 11, 2008
in Blogging
. 0 Comments

This site is undergoing an upgrade, thanks to Lauren (who did the original design). Please bear with us if things look a little strange for a while.

A Cuppe of News

Published
by
Hugo Schwyzer
on March 11, 2008
in Family and Links
. 4 Comments

My brother has a blog, of a sort: A Cuppe of News. It’s a bulletin board for information about upcoming talks in early modern studies throughout Southwest England. My little brother is senior lecturer at Exeter, father of three, and one of the men in the world whom I admire most.

And an archive of my little sister’s writing at the Santa Barbara Independent is here. She is 29 today, which is a splendid age to be.