Comments on: Copping to what needs to change

By: Hugo Schwyzer

Hugo Schwyzer — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:56:31 +0000

Indeed, we can try. That’s the best we can do, and there are limitations to how far we go before our style starts to sound inauthentic and forced.

By: Elaine Vigneault

Elaine Vigneault — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:21:01 +0000

I’m going to try to edit my style a bit too.
I’ve noticed that my writing often regarded as though I’m trying to prove I’m smart, tell other people what to do, or that I’m self-righteous. And I don’t feel like that reflects my intent. So some is probably my tone and some is probably bias against the topics I write about. But I think either way, if I attempt a more humbling style, my points will be better received. So I’m trying, too, Hugo. It’s really tough to just switch styles, but we can certainly try, can’t we?

By: beste

beste — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:41:21 +0000

As someone who could be considered “the enemy” …I realy don’t see what hugo has done wrong here. You’ve got to remember the guy is teacher.

By: littlem

littlem — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:19:37 +0000

Mmm-hmmm.

Your unwavering support of Amanda squicks me to no end

Speaking of which, is this piece of so-called “literature” still being lauded here as as “stellar” and “worth reading”?

By: Hilary

Hilary — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:29:42 +0000

I think it takes a lot of courage and humility to say this, Hugo. We could probably all use some constructive criticism in the way we communicate our ideas. Thanks for your honesty, as usual.

By: jeffliveshere

jeffliveshere — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 22:38:59 +0000

No more dismissive language like calling a serious and painful discussion a “kerfuffle”.

I wanted to say something about that when I saw you use that word in the comments at Feministe, but I was just too angry to write anything meaningful in that regard. I’m glad you’re figuring it out. Your unwavering support of Amanda squicks me to no end, but I look forward to seeing your new style(s) emerge.

By: Hugo Schwyzer

Hugo Schwyzer — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:26:29 +0000

Just to be clear, I have never referred to anyone as “hysterical” in this debate. Given that we talk about the origins of that word at the beginning of every semester in women’s studies, that would be a monumental error.

By: Flippanter

Flippanter — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:21:29 +0000

Considering Noumena’s comments, which would put my back up if I were in your shoes, it might help you to deal with the problem of defensiveness, conscious or otherwise, to try to confront the issue as one of style, rather than character: Calling women “hysterical,” or disparaging their conflicts as “kerfuffles” or “imbroglios,” is a surrender in the war against cliche.

(Speaking of cliches, another is all the “calling out” that people seem to do, and have done to them, on blogs. It gives rise to an image of a playground full of third-base umpires knocking chips off one another’s shoulders across lines in the sand.)

By: blk

blk — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:53:47 +0000

I’ve seen you make good use of self-effacing and self-deprecating humor in your writing, too. That doesn’t usually go along with “pompous.”

Actually, I don’t entirely agree with this. Self-deprecating humor can -sometimes- be used well, but more often I find it is (unconsciously) used to bring to surface the writer’s insecurity. Self-deprecation draws attention to the self, and requests emotional attention from the reader, either to agree with it and and further the imbalance, or the disagree with it and thus assume the role of “comforting” the writer.

A well-communicated and sincere apology does not offer excuses or ask for emotional comfort in the same breath that it is offering regrets or reparations for a wrong.

By: Noumena

Noumena — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:02:15 +0000

I’m not going to write that this is a good first step, that I’m glad to see you finally realising how condescending you’ve been, and all that. Because, frankly, it would amount to giving a privileged person praise just for publicly recognising their privilege, which isn’t exactly the hard part of actually improving things. I don’t like it when my female feminist friends talk about what a great (white, upper middle class) man I am for being slightly more involved with feminist and progressive academia than they are, for exactly the same reason.

Ilyka called you out for talking the talk but failing (well, almost) to walk the walk. What you’ve given us is more talk here. What I’m going to insist on — and what I’m going to try to hold you account for, in my future comments here — is that you actually follow through on what you’ve pledged to do, and walk the walk.

The above might sound a bit hostile. That’s unintentional, but also seems to be unavoidable. I’m really entirely supportive, in large part because of how much I respect you. But I want to express that support and respect in the form of a commitment, on my part, to help you follow through on the commitments you’ve made here. Patting someone on the back just for mouthing a few pieties is, I think, a big part of why feminists, progressives, and leftists more generally sometimes seemed to be trapped in the circular firing squad.