The helicopter parenting is a bit much, to say the least. Asking teens to be responsible for driving younger siblings and running errands in return for driving privileges also seems to have gone the wayside.

I think the phenomenon is a combination of factors. The rising cost of gas and insurance are obvious. Lengthening commutes, non-standard work hours, and increased numbers of parents working more than one job probably reduce the possibility of teens borrowing a parent’s car. I’d bet parents being worn out by driving long distances for work also dampens the teen enthusiasm for driving. The rising cost of college tuition over time also means its much less likely that a student working/saving for their education (in high school or college) will be able to afford gas, insurance, or a car of their own.

The restrictions on new drivers is also significant, and varies by jurisdiction. Graduated licensing requirements can prohibit teens from driving late at night, restrict the number of passengers, suspend licenses for speeding tickets, and carry heavy penalties for driving with any level of blood alcohol. All of which reduce fatalities. Thankfully, I did not have to mourn any classmates in high school because of a car accident or drunk driving. (Someone supposedly street racing did kill an acquaintance of mine a year ago, but thats another story.)
Its hard for anyone to say ‘Yes, I’m finally free to go wherever I want… as long as I’m completely sober, get no speeding tickets, have no more than x passengers, and have the car home before midnight’. The mental gymnastics required for that are beyond me. In my teen years, I could stay out later if my mother drove me to and from parties.

I’ve come on several accidents of major severity. Saved one guy’s life–the cops told me I need to get a test, since I didn’t have any latex gloves with me at the time–and one guy was dead when we finally got him out of the car. Still drive without qualms. Major spiritual failing, I guess.

Got a friend who has helicoptered her kids to an extent that makes it difficult for me to keep my mouth shut about it. One result is it makes it easier, perhaps inevitable, that they will find spouses–they did–who are equally controlling.

I never knew of any such requirements. They never asked me how much my parents had trained me. All I had to do was pass a computer test for my permit at 15 and at 16 pass a driving test. Far as I knew, only requirement to take the test was being 16 and having your permit at least 6 months. We drove for maybe 15 minutes down Main Street and a residential area, nothing special like parallel parking. I was always astonished how easy it was. Maybe that has something to do with the can insurance rates being so high in my state. And all the uninsured drivers…

I think it’s a good thing that my generation can take advice from our elders and respect them as people, not just as authority figures.

As a note on formal driver’s ed, in California we were required to take X hours or (and this was key) a certified distance-learning course. I sent off for the book, it took me 5 hours instead of 30, and all was right with the world. The 50 hours of practice time was the main reason I didn’t get my license right away - my parents found it easier to drive me places than to spend 50 hours in the car with me while I drove around.

My father taught me how to drive. Back then, you got a discount on your insurance if you took formal classes, but it wasn’t required. I took two days of the classes to get the discount, but I already knew how to drive by then. Of course, this was 15 years ago, so the requirements may have changed.

My school had Driver’s Ed, but it was entirely theoretical, because the school didn’t want to pay for insurance for all those student drivers.

However, I feel strongly that the interdependence and connection that this post seems to imply is a negative is actually a positive.

Of course, a lack of skills or an inability to function in the real world is a bad thing. Yet I don’t think that is the natural result of a close relationship between parents and children.

The idea that a single person or a nuclear family should be able to handle all of life’s challenges is a fairly recent and culture specific one. Historically the majority of cultures had the expectation that an individual had a fairly broad system of support, including grandparents and aunts etc. I know that personally a lot of my current success and plans for the future are based partly on the expectation that I have my family’s support. I know that I will be able to have children whether or not I find a husband and still have a career because there will be extra hands to help me. This reduces the artificial panic over getting married. Similarly I strongly believe that having emotional support from family members reduces the chances that you will enter into an unhealthy romantic relationship due to desperate loneliness, if you also have emotional support from friends the chances that you will be emotionally stable increase exponentially.

While my life is not always easy, it is not one of total dependence either. I come to know public transportation schedules well; I walk; I bike; I make driving friends. And I manage to travel quite a bit without having to rent a car.

I’m not sure how the tendency of today’s teenagers to be less car-eager relates to the “helicopter parent” phenomenon. I deliberately moved two states away for college because I knew I had to do so to break away from letting my mother do everything for me. Today, I become a bit disconcerted when I see parents do practically everything for college-age sons and daughters–choose their courses, wake them up for class with a phone call, etc. I don’t think those parents are teaching autonomy to their kids. There’s such a thing as having a good relationship with your children, and such a thing as not letting them grow up.

get around to it, that is…

Also, the fact that I’m far less likely to have to live with the guilt of killing or maiming someone, however unintentionally, weighs heavily on my mind. I keep thinking I should take a class and get a license, primarily so I can do my fair share on road trips, drive a friends car home if they’ve been drinking, and drive in the case of a medical emergency or something. But I can never seem to prioritize it enough to actually get around with it. It’s always something I’m vaguely planning to do next year sometime. I’ve lived in a car culture all my life, and it’s always seemed profoundly alien to me.

(My mother did most of the cooking, and she was the one who made us start cooking dinner once a week.)