Comments on: Boys, fathers, teasing, and disordered eating: spite more often wears a man’s face

By: Tom

Tom — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 04:19:55 +0000

I’m not sure that we can conclusively say that “…we often over-estimate the degree to which teen girls exhibit cruelty towards each other, and we may woefully underestimate the damage done by boys and men…” There is the issue of relative sensitivity of each of these studied populations as they to different sources of pressure, or to any pressure at all. As the teen girls get older, when media pressures and the attitudes of peers have more of an impact, they also are dealing with sexual maturation when they are likely to give more credit to the attitudes of their male peers than they otherwise would have. Whether the males, females, or whoever is more, or less, cruel, this study doesn’t really say.

On the question of relative incidences, it seems that the males are less affected, whatever the pressures they face. The article indicated that the incidence of eating disorders among girls was three times as high as among boys. I’ve wondered about the relative focus on males and eating disorders from some quarters, I remember that one of the (relatively few) resources that GenEq at Berkeley had on men and men’s health dealt with this issue. It made me wonder if there wasn’t an “every problem’s a nail when all you’ve got is a hammer” issue. Nothing was mentioned about, say, suicide, which kills at least four times as many adolescent and young adult males in the US as females.

By: JW

JW — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 15:44:45 +0000

It also has to do with what the media shows (or doesn’t). Women are more often showing “being,” while men are shown “doing” things. I agree with Hugo that consumption patterns are different, too, but it’s old news that the message to look a certain way is much stronger for girls/women, while boys/men are expected to act a certain way (that is, NOT like girls/women).

By: Hugo Schwyzer

Hugo Schwyzer — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 17:25:15 +0000

B, that’s a good catch on the distinction between what is said and what is felt.

Girls consume media differently — they are much more voracious readers of magazines, greater consumers of television programs, and obviously more attuned to fashion. Boys, who are more likely to be attuned to sports and video games, see more of their male heroes clothed (at least partially!)

By: B

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 17:18:33 +0000

It seems from your comments that it’s not the cruelty of girls that we overestimate, but rather the impact of it. I was a teenaged girl, and I remember the viciousness clearly even though it was a decade ago that I endured (and doled out) the mean remarks and teasing. I don’t remember very much teasing and cruelty directed towards me or other girls from boys, but I do remember that it was particularly noteworthy and painful when there was any. When you say, “As a society, it seems we often over-estimate the degree to which teen girls exhibit cruelty towards each other, and we may woefully underestimate the damage done by boys and men” you are sort of combining cause and effect in the same analysis.

I am interested in the idea that boys are less influenced by the media than girls are. Do you have any thoughts on why the media means more to one gender than the other?

We always hear so many stories about women whose mothers made cruel weight comments and started them on an endless battle with the scale, I’ll admit to being surprised to hear that fathers do the same to their sons. I think it’s important that it’s being said. It’s certainly an issue all parents should think about for their children.