http://www.jewishjournal.com/los_angeles/article/house_of_repentance_where_no_one_is_beyond_redemption_20080425/

My congratulations. You should be proud of what you’ve done. 10 years is a milestone that, unfortunately, few are able to reach.

And in the end, whether I did the work or not, at the time I was doing it I saw AA as essential. And I needed to replace one addiction (alcohol and drugs) with another (going to meetings) until I could get to the point where I needed neither. For me, it was a huge transition tool, one for which I am immensely grateful.

Addiction is a mystery — and there is a gray area where choice and compulsion play off of each other. I know, for example, that I always had a choice as to whether or not I picked up the FIRST drink. But once I had picked up and had that first drink, I had NO control over whether I had a second, third, or tenth. The key was learning what the moment was where I still had the power to stop.

I will look for that book and thank you for the reference. In the mean time I have a couple of follow up questions.

You say there is a difference between a person who honestly has no choice and and one who simply chooses poorly. I do not think that distinction accurately addresses the issue. It’s not like the bar tender holds a gun to your head. I can only see the person making the same bad decision over and over. Assuming that this distinction is accurate however, what factors would necessarily exist for a person to genuinely not have a choice?

Also, you say that an admission of powerlessness is a necessary tool of AA, and you say that some admissions are fraudulent. If this is true, are you saying that fraudulent admissions are only done by AA members who are not really alcoholics? Or, are you saying that some alcoholics are not really powerless? Would someone be denied help if their powerlessness was in question? Would someone be denied help if they refused to admit they were in fact powerless? I guess my concern is not whether or not AA helps (It obviously does), its whether AA is as helpful as it needs to be.

You say AA saved your life. I think you saved your own life and would have regardless of AA’s existence. You must of had a strong will to live. Seeing as you how had been to prior meetings you must have known you were in trouble even if you hadn’t figured out how to get out of it. You used AA as a means to an end. AA, therefore, can only be said to be indirectly responsible for your recovery where it is you, and only you, who is directly responsible. In other words, if it wasn’t AA it would have been something else.

In regards to you ever having another drink I completely understand your position. And I am not really saying that you have to drink again in order to be completely “healed.” However, when you say that you are “not willing to risk it,” what is it you are not willing to risk? My point being that even if you had ten drinks would that mean the old demons would definitely return? If you think they would that is one thing. But I don’t think one can even start to consider themselves fully recovered, and I don’t know whether you do or not, until drinking becomes a non-issue. This is not to say that one must be able to drink again. But if you assume that serious alcohol dependency is not a person’s main problem but a manifestation of their problem, and I believe this to be true, then once the main problem is solved does alcohol even matter?

Best wishes,
Jack

But in the end, I can’t explain how to do it as a Jew, alas.

You mention a renewed faith in Christ as a component of your recovery.

First of all, as you know, the word Christ pertains to, but is not limited to Jesus. ‘Christ’ is a consciousness, not simply his last name. That said, I know you are referring to JESUS Christ in terms of your own life.

And as you also know, indeed you’ve referred to it in other posts, while ‘coming to Christ’ for some is a genuine change of heart and a step forward, others who may think that’s what their doing are simply manifesting their addiction in a different way. The President Of The United States comes to mind. While you’ve admitted that for a time that was you, it no longer seems to be.

I have, as of late, found the notions of ‘coming to Christ’ and being ‘born again’ appealing but here’s the thing.

I’m Jewish, I could never be anything but Jewish no matter what, and happily so. It’s just what I am and I know it.

Supposedly the big difference between Christians and Jews is that one recognizes Jesus as the Messiah and the other does not. My take is that I have never understood the concept EITHER WAY. I simply can’t, at this point in my development wrap my head around the idea of was he or wasn’t he the Messiah…….and I suspect that’s not the point anyway. It certainly has nothing to do with what being a Jew means to me.

So the question is, how does a Jewish person have the experience you describe without renouncing his Judaism………..or becoming a Jew For Jesus which I am not drawn to in the least?

Though we are poles apart politically and theologically, you always challenge and inspire me. I’m quite joyful for God’s grace in the form of those sheriff’s deputies–I’m glad you’re alive. Reminds me to be thankful for God’s grace that came to me in losing my job and facing the prospect of prison–it didn’t seem like a gift back then (still doesn’t at times, depending on my mood), but it was a warning I heeded nine years later. I suppose in recovery, that’s a relatively short time to catch on.

Peace and all good,

Frank