I need a hiatus. Today is July 29, and I plan to return to blogging 31 days from today, on August 29.
This week marks the fifth anniversary of the beginning of my blogging career, though the archives from my first five months of posting are, alas, lost in the floating ephemera of cyberspace. My preserved archives (which can be viewed by clicking on the tabs at right) go back to January 2004. Again, thanks are due to the wonderful Lauren of Feministe and Faux Real Tho for doing amazing work to create this blog and collate a great many posts. I’ve written close to 2500 posts which I’ve stuck into more than 100 categories. No single person, including myself, has to my knowledge read them all. I’m not suggesting that that’s a great loss.
As many long-time bloggers have pointed out, blogging can come to feel like work. Sometimes, it is exciting work — but other times, it is unpaid drudgery. Most of us notice that our “stats” rise (in terms of number of readers) as long as we post regularly, and the fear quickly develops that if we don’t stay active, our fickle readers will leave us, never to return. Chasing readership is tiring sometimes. It’s not what I do for a living, after all. This summer, blogging has felt like work.
In the last nine months or so, I’ve gotten involved in several bruising battles within the wider progressive/feminist blogosphere. A number of bloggers took temporary breaks from the ’sphere, so exhausted and disheartened were they. Most returned within a few weeks or months. I realize now that I ought, perhaps, to have taken a break as well. It’s only been recently that I’ve figured out how disconsolate I was as a result of some of these exchanges. Losing the respect and “cyber-friendship” of people I admired has taken a greater toll than I imagined. A very large number of people who once linked to me now no longer do. It’s not other people’s job to make me feel good, but it was painful and upsetting in ways that took me, oh, about four or five months to figure out. Sometimes my verbal dexterity covers up a heart that is very slow to process. (The darned ENFP/Gemini thing.)
I love blogging. It has changed my life. I intend to return to it at the end of next month, and be a regular blogger through the fall. But I think that for those of us who blog a lot (and I’ve averaged nearly ten posts per week for five years), taking at least two months off a year is probably a good thing.
I have some traveling to do in August, and lots of thinking to do. When I come back to the blog, I want to come back with a renewed commitment to eradicating the worst of my writing habits. The tendency towards sanctimoniousness runs deep; it’s one of my worst defects of character. I don’t doubt for a second that I can write with power as well as with humility, but the pompousness is so damn reflexive, so seemingly natural…
In any case, I’ll see you all on August 29.
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