My friend Bill sends me an interesting email:
Have you ever had a ‘vegan slip’? Eaten meat or animal products only because you couldn’t resist them? Do you think it might be interesting to see if others do? And I don’t mean the times you had traces of eggs are milk becuase you were in a situation where options were limited.
While I’m still on a self-imposed hiatus from blogging about animal rights issues, I think I can answer this one safely.
First off, I’m a bit leery of using the language of “slips” around veganism (even though I have used the term myself). “Slipping” is a term used by addicts in recovery to describe a relapse. My friend Bill and I have both spent plenty of time in Twelve Step programs; in my case, it was those programs that helped me stop drinking and using drugs. I haven’t had a drink or an illicit drug in well over a decade, and if I were to “pick up” and use again, that would indeed constitute a mighty slip.
But I don’t think of veganism as a recovery program from the disease of carniverousness. It’s true that I tend to approach virtually everything in my life through the lens of addiction and recovery, and that’s obvious in my writing. But that’s a psychological foible rather than a philosophical perspective. And though it’s tempting to do pull a President Bush (who spoke of our nation being “addicted to oil”) and use the language of addiction to describe the attachment most folks have to meat consumption, I’m not going to do it. Not only is it medically an inappropriate term to use, using a word like “addiction” (or its related terms, like “slip”) to describe the relationship people have with animal products makes the mistake of centering human beings and their feelings, rather than the rights of animals, in the discussion. And that’s the wrong tack to take.
But this is not the time to re-hash the moral case for veganism. Leaving aside the words Bill uses, the question are good ones to ask of any vegan: “Do you ever get tempted to eat animal products? What do you do? Have you ever eaten meat or dairy or eggs (consciously, rather than by accident) since becoming a vegan?”
Part of being vegan is eating a balanced, plant-based diet. It’s easy to be a “junk-food” vegan, after all. And I find that when I don’t get enough protein (beans, soy, hemp rice, peanut butter and so forth), I do feel an urge to eat meat. But I catch myself every time, reminding myself that it’s not a steak I crave, but rather the protein within the steak. My cravings are, I’ve learned, always in response to obvious nutritional deficiencies. It’s quite liberating — at least for me — to discover that my longings for certain foods can be controlled by eating sensibly. A craving for meat comes very rarely, and it can easily be assuaged with something else. It’s usually just a sign I’ve gotten a bit lazy in ensuring that I’m eating a wide variety of plants!
I have not eaten animal flesh since a few “slips” (hah, there’s the word) in 2005. But in the last two years, the years in which I have been most intensely vegan, I have made the conscious decision to consume dairy or eggs. I haven’t done so in the USA; all of my recent adventures into lacto-ovo vegetarianism have come abroad.
I can think of two occasions in particular. In January, we were on our Antarctica cruise; my wife and I were the only vegans on the trip. The catering staff on the ship did their best by us, but sometimes — especially towards the end of the voyage, as fresh food supplies dipped, they ran into trouble. And one night at dinner, all they had for us (besides chicken and fish) was cheese lasagna. I had been getting by for days on salads and nuts, hemp shakes and vegan bars. I was tired of feeling so deprived; more than 1000 miles from a decent health food store, I didn’t have a lot of choices. I could have survived without the lasagna, but I chose to eat it. I felt sick afterwards, but yes, it tasted good.
In August, when we were in Croatia, the same thing happened. This time, the choice to eat dairy came in a restaurant in Dubrovnik. I was sick of pasta with marinara sauce and soggy lettuce. I ordered a cheese pizza, and it was very satisfying. Some countries are easy in which to be vegan (Thailand and Israel come to mind); others are murderously challenging (say, Argentina and France). I go easy on myself when I am away from my usual sources of tasty plant-based nutrition. It is not unlikely that dairy or egg products will cross my lips on some future foreign trip.
Veganism is not akin to sobriety. In AA, we learned that if we took a single drink, we lost our sobriety. I know the last date I consumed alcohol: June 27, 1998. Except for communion and kiddush wine in tiny doses during religious ceremonies, I have not had a drop of any alcoholic beverage since that date. But I don’t have a “vegan date.” My veganism is not about measuring my own purity or my own health. My veganism happens to have the happy byproduct of good health, but that’s not it’s purpose. I am vegan because I want to be as justice-centered as possible in my food choices. The “as possible” reflects the reality that I can’t do it perfectly. Animals die in the process of growing plants and making car tires, after all.
But as I’ve said a thousand times, and will say a thousand times again, there’s no point in letting the impossibility of perfection be a reason to stop pursuing the most ethical life possible. The best cannot be allowed to be the enemy of the good. I will never run as fast as Paula Radcliffe, but run I can. I will never be able, as a prosperous American, to undo all the harm that is done sustaining the life I lead. But I can take a great many steps to mitigate that harm, and to mitigate it significantly. Eating vegan food and buying vegan clothes is one very tangible way to do that. And when I don’t do it perfectly, for whatever reason, I don’t put on the metaphorical hair shirt. I let myself be human, and then return to the task of doing the best I can.
One motto I learned early in recovery is useful here: ‘do the next right thing’. 99.9% of the time, the ‘next right thing’ for me to eat is something vegan. One time in a thousand, I might choose cheese - not out of a failure of principle but because of a failure of other options, and a failure to plan perfectly. And I’m not going to beat myself up for that. I’ll just do the next right thing.
NOTE: This is not the place to raise the old and bitter arguments about animal rights, vegan philosophy, and so forth. This is a post about what it means to try and live ethically, with the knowledge that on occasion, one falls short of the mark. The post is about how to think about what it means to fall short. It is not the time to question the merits of pursuing that particular goal in the first place.
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