Archive for the 'Athletics and Fitness' Category

Running report, and a note on hairy chests

Mark, Caz, Magnus and I had a glorious, tough fifteen miler today, running in the cool and the mists of the Angeles National Forest.  (If there are any of my readers who know the San Gabriel Mountains, we ran from Chantry Flats to Newcomb’s Saddle via First Water and the Sturtevant Trail.  After years of running, those very names reek of sweat and excitement to me.)  Four tired and happy men we were at the end.  I ran shirtless, the other lads wore tights and long sleeves.  There were a few chilly gusts, but nothing I couldn’t handle.   Of course, I just got over a nasty cold, so this probably wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had.

We ended up at Noah’s bagels.  For a decade now, I’ve ordered the same thing over and over: cinnamon raisin bagel toasted with sun-dried tomato shmear.  I have no idea what anything else tastes like there.  (And yes, New Yorkers, I know, your bagels are better.  I concede.)

We’ve got quite a good (and mostly civil) discussion going in the comments section below Friday’s post about feminism and loneliness.  I’m grateful that Amanda Marcotte discussed it at length yesterday, and offered some interesting insights (and sent lots of welcome hits this way.)  If you don’t already read Pandagon, read my post and hers as well as both comments sections.

And as anyone who has been doing any reading this week in the feminist blogosphere knows, we’ve all been obsessed with hair.  Mostly, we’ve been interested in how women groom — or don’t — the hair below eye level.  I posted here, Happy posted here, Jill posted here (and was ripped here), Zuzu posted here,  Lauren here, and if you poke around elsewhere, I am sure a dozen other feminist bloggers have weighed in on issues of waxing and plucking and related strategies.  It may seem silly, but it isn’t, not really, not when we’re all convinced that we have an obligation to live lives of integrity and we disagree passionately about whether or not our most intimate grooming habits are or aren’t consistent with our core values. 

It’s been pointed out in many corners that women are not the only ones who remove body hair.   While in an earlier era, only athletes in certain sports (body building and swimming, for example) regularly removed chest and leg hair, within the past ten years the number of men "going bare" has increased enormously.   Pick up any men’s magazine (Men’s Health, etc.), and the chances are good the bare-chested model on the cover will be completely or nearly hairless.  Many folks assume that the focus on hairlessness has to do with the tremendous increase in body anxiety among men that we’ve witnessed in recent years.  It’s widely argued that men are more and more likely to be judged on their appearance these days, and as a consequence we’re seeing an upsurge in male body hair removal.  Men are, perhaps, beginning to suffer from the same concerns from which women have suffered for considerably longer.

One key difference, however, goes unremarked most of the time.  Classically, the reason why men remove chest hair is that hair obscures muscle.  A rug, or even some wisps, may make it more difficult to display one’s pecs.  Taking off the hair immediately makes the chest look bigger and makes the upper body appear more defined.  Trust me, I know this first hand.  When I was lifting a lot of weights about a decade ago, I "Naired" my chest a couple of times.  (I had one brief experience with waxing at the hands of a helpful but not very skilled female friend.  Yikes.)  The "Nair" burned, particularly around my nipples (which were pierced at the time), but it got rid of all the hair from my throat to below my belt line. 

The visual results were instant — my chest looked manlier, which struck me as oddly paradoxical.  The hair (which I’ve had on my chest since I was 16) "should" have been the primary signifier of masculinity.   After all, we’re all familiar with the the exhortation "Come on, do it, it’ll put hair on your chest" — which is usually said about something dangerous or "manly".  But in our world, pectoral muscles are an even more powerful signifier of manliness, particularly because their appearance is more likely to be the result of effort rather than genetics.   In order to enhance my masculine appeal, I "had" to remove what was quintessentially masculine.  As I washed the stinging Nair off in the shower, the contradiction did not escape me!

Male porn stars generally have very closely cropped pubic hair, if they have any at all.  (Their female co-stars increasingly have little or none.)  Many women who wax claim it enhances their comfort, or their sense of pleasure, or — and this seems to be the most frequent — their sense of cleanliness.  (Even when they know intellectually that body hair is not inherently dirty.) But the reason for a man to remove his pubic hair is radically different — as with the chest, hair "down there" obscures.  An erect penis automatically looks bigger when there’s little or no hair about.  In porn, where "size matters" tremendously, there’s little doubt that a male actor can enhance his attributes by removing his pubic hair.  Of course, while both men and women have pubic hair naturally (and most women, and some men, don’t have chest hair) men and women are removing the "hair down there" for radically different reasons.   For many women, anxiety about cleanliness is at least one factor — while for men (even outside of the porn industry), the old anxiety about being "too small" is the primary motivation.

I haven’t removed any body hair from the vast expanses below my neck since early in the second Clinton Administration.  I enjoyed the visual effect of hairlessness, but hated the stubble as it came back in.  And though I found that some women liked a bare chest, I found — and here I step into dangerous territory — that the women I was most likely to actually want to be with were those who liked men with hair. Somehow, there was something suspicious to me about women who liked their men too smooth.  Perhaps it was — and here I psychoanalyze without a license — a sense I got that women who were turned off by chest hair were in some sense intimidated by or frightened of certain aspects of male sexuality.  (Bring on the flaming, but so help me, that was my experience.  I agree that my anecdotes, no matter how numerous, do not in any way constitute data!)  I will note that when my teenage girls in youth group talk about what they like and don’t like in guys, most are enthusiastic about hairless, smooth chests.  Given that those are what the chests of most of their peers look like, it makes sense.  But the connection between eroticising hairlessness and a kind of adolescent view of sexuality does seem to be logical, if nothing else.

I don’t trust Esquire Magazine with much.  (They named the no-doubt talented and lovely, but very young Scarlett Johannson the "sexiest woman alive" earlier this year, a decision which mystified me.  In my mind, she falls into the category of "much younger women I would set up with my college-age nephew, not my best friend.")  But they do report this month that "chest hair is back", which, if true, I find quite encouraging.  Of course, the linked article implies that it’s all a backlash against metro-sexuality:

The area rugs popularized by Hugh (Jackman) et al. are more than just decorative statements; they’re welcome beacons of masculinity in a too-calm sea of feyness. They’re a rebuttal to the androgynous Jude Law pretty-boy aesthetic and the skinny-pantsed Strokesification of our time. In short: Your chest hair is hot. Own it.

Uh, my chest hair is not a rebuttal to anything. It is what it is — a tribute to my DNA, which decreed (thank you, ancestors) that I would naturally have hair on my head for life, hair on my chest in moderate abundance, and very little hair on my back.  (That constellation of gifts almost makes up for the hopeless nearsightedness.)   Praise be to God that my wife loves every last little sprout and tuft!  (Especially, bless her heart, the increasing number of white ones.)

Note: After further reflection, the photo that was here of said chest hair has been removed.

Sunday notes on separate vacations, Cal football, and a memorial concert

Sunday notes:

A.  My wife is out of town for the week.  She and her best friend left for Europe two days ago, and won’t be back until October 9.  I miss her very much, but am glad she and her buddy get this time together.  I’m often away from her on weekend retreats with my youth group, after all.  We spend 50 weeks a year together; it makes sense to us to spend two weeks (on average) apart.   Earlier this week, I mentioned to one of my gym buddies that my wife was headed off on a trip, and he gaped at me.  "You let your wife go to Europe without you?"  He was incredulous.  I set him straight about the whole notion of "letting" as quickly as I could.

Now mind you, I’d be sad if my wife would always rather travel without me, but we’ve done a lot of traveling together in the past year (three times to the East Coast; to Africa; South America; England; Dubai) and we’ll be traveling abroad together again over Christmas break.   We both know our lives will change radically when we have children, so we’re racking up the miles while we have the time.  (Someday, I will post all of my tips for accruing and redeeming frequent flyer miles.  Stay tuned.)

B. I’ll be taking a little trip of my own next weekend: I’ll be in Berkeley to see my beloved Golden Bears play their homecoming football game against the Oregon Ducks.  Both teams are ranked, both teams have potent offenses, and it should be a good battle.  It will also be my first game at Memorial Stadium in Berkeley in twenty years; I haven’t seen Cal play at home since the 1986 Big Game against Stanford, when I was a 19 year-old sophomore.  Many of today’s Berkeley students weren’t even born then…

C. I ran to the top of Mt. Wilson again today, and have now logged over 50 miles since Tuesday.  This makes me realize that five things are guaranteed to happen when my wife goes on vacation:

1. My normally ambitious exercise program will move from the merely compulsive to the definitively obsessive.

2.  I will live on peanut butter, coffee, rice cakes, protein shakes, pineapple rings, and Clif Bars.

3.  As a result of #1 and #2, I will lose weight. 

4.  The bed will go unmade.

5. The television will be on all the time, set to CNN or ESPN News.

D.  Finally, I want to report that a memorial concert was held last night to honor my late father.  A group of his chamber music friends gathered at Santa Barbara’s Music Academy of the West to play a variety of selections that were special to my daddy.  My father was dedicated to his cello; next to his family, it gave him the greatest joy of his life.  The music was magnificent and wide-ranging: Dvorak, Somis, Schumann, and many others.  (In our family, we really love Schumann.)  The final piece, chosen by my father’s dear friend and teacher Nona Pyron, was Max Bruch’s achingly moving Kol Nidrei.  Given that it was the (almost) eve of Yom Kippur, and given my father’s own deeply ambivalent feelings about his Jewish heritage, it was a magnificent choice.  I knew most of the selections, but had never heard the Bruch.  I’m ordering a copy now.

I am the eldest son of a man who was very widely loved in his world.  As sad as I remain, three months after his death, I am awed and inspired by how much joy he brought to others.  Last night’s concert — which I attended with my stepmother and one of my sisters — was a tremendous gift to our family, and a wonderful reminder of just how many people cared so deeply for my Dad.    Words do not have the power to convey my gratitude.

In defense of sluggish newbies: a rant about running

Here’s an article from MSN that really bugged me: How Sluggish Newbies Ruined the Marathon.  Written by Gabriel Sherman, it begins:

Among autumn’s sporting rituals there is one tradition that fills me with mounting dread: the return of marathon season. If you’ve been to the gym or attended a cocktail party recently, you know what I mean. Chances are you’ve bumped into a newly devoted runner who’s all too happy to tell you about his heart-rate monitor and split times and the looming, character-building challenge of running 26.2 miles. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a slovenly couch potato who abhors exercise. I’m an avid runner with six marathons under my New Balance trainers. But this growing army of giddy marathon rookies is so irksome that I’m about ready to retire my racing shoes and pick up bridge.

Well, I’ve got eleven marathons and two 50Ks under my feet, and I’m not irked. Here’s what Sherman finds so troubling:

Today, the great majority of marathon runners set out simply to finish. That sets the bar so low that everyone comes out a winner. Big-city marathons these days feel more like circuses than races, with runners of variable skill levels—some outfitted in wacky costumes—crawling toward the finish line. The marathon has transformed from an elite athletic contest to something closer to sky diving or visiting the Grand Canyon. When a newbie marathoner crosses the finish line, he’s less likely to check his time than to shout, "Only 33 more things to do before I die!"

Bold emphasis is mine.  Oh, the horror of having everyone feel good! Oh, the horror of people who took seven hours to finish feeling as if they have accomplished something!  What’s next?   Overweight people might find love and sexual fulfillment without feeling guilty about cellulite? 

Sherman continues with this incredibly annoying rant:

Running was once a purist’s sport—you needed only to lace up your shoes and hop out the door. No longer. During a recent run in Central Park, I dodged groups of marathon trainees festooned with heart-rate monitors and space-age breathable fabrics that looked like they’d emerged from some NASA lab. Along with this profusion of gear, a constellation of coaches, massage therapists, chiropractors, and other gurus now peddle services to the marathon masses. In New York, the Bliss Spa offers the "Cold Feet" treatment, a one-hour procedure that "uses alternating hot and cold therapies to help circulate and deflate aching, swollen feet and puffy ankles." Two groups that Bliss says deserves this kind of pampering: marathon runners and pregnant women.

Hey, he even worked in some misogyny!  Marathoners aren’t real athletes; they’re really just like pregnant women.  Is that crack supposed to make men doubt the wisdom of training for a marathon?

Gabriel Sherman doesn’t list his times, but I’ll happily list mine.  I’ve done nine road and two trail marathons.   On the road, I’ve never failed to break four hours.  My worst time was a 3:57; my best a 3:13:51.  (Here’s the proof, scroll down to the 30-34 age group, which is what I was in when I ran the time).  That time put me in the well within the top 10% of all finishers.  In my thirties, I’ve also run a 18:44 5K and a 38:49 10K.  Those times may not make me a prize-winner, but they’re certainly in the range of being solidly competitive.

I say this not to brag, but to make it clear that I’m not a "sluggish newbie."  And I am not in the least troubled by the slow trotters who make up the majority of marathoners these days.  I don’t see why Sherman ought to be troubled, either.  If we’re faster, then these folks are behind us.  It’s not as if they’re in the way, blocking our path to a water stop at mile 18!   If I run a 3:50 marathon (which is what I generally do these days, largely because I don’t do speed training any more), I can get home and shower and put my feet up while the slower folks are still out on the course.  And hell, my hat is off to them, as Sherman’s should be.  I only suffer for three hours and change — the newbies to whom he refers are out there hurting for twice that long.

I’ve spent years and years around very competitive and talented athletes.  I’ve worked with cross-country coaches and ultra-marathoners; I have friends who have qualified for the Olympic trials in distance events.  To a man and to a woman, I’ve never heard them sneer at the slower recreational athletes who only long to finish. Real runners don’t judge and condemn others.  Our reasons for running are myriad, and running to set a personal best time is never the only, or even the best, reason to run.   If some folks want to trot and sweat for six hours so that they can say "I ran a marathon because I’ve always wanted to", how does it diminish my accomplishment in running the same race significantly faster?  Heck, Sherman ought to love the slow ones — they make those of us who do run faster look better, as we finish in a noticeably higher percentile as a result.  I’ll likely never run 3:13 again, but even these days, I finish in the top quarter of all male finishers most of the time.  That’s due less to my own skills than to the plodders and the pounders who walk and jog for hour after hour.  I’m grateful for them.

Running has brought me tremendous joy and fulfillment.  It is a source of incredible pleasure in my life.  I judge myself not by my weight, or whether my six-pack is defined, or by my latest time, but by the amount of delight I take in my workouts.  I try and bring that peace and happiness home from the roads and the trails, and I try to make it manifest in my relationships with others.  Running is like that for many people, whether or not they ever run a marathon, or whether or not they ever break four, five, or even seven hours.  Gabriel Sherman ought to know that.  As a fellow runner, I’m deeply disappointed in his attitude.  He doesn’t speak for anyone I know.

Oh, and he wears New Balance too.  The only thing worse would be Nike.  Asics or Saucony or Montrail, baby.

10.5 ounces of pure passion, pleasure, and pulchritude: a love story

Well, I’m officially, madly, intensely, laugh-out-loud in love.  We only met on Friday afternoon, and this morning, we had a three and a half hour, 19-mile date to the top of Mt. Wilson and back.  I woke up this morning well before dawn, gently kissed my sleeping wife goodbye, and ran off with my new lovers.  Well, to put it more accurately, I ran with my new lovers on.Tn628_3159m

I have spent years looking for a truly lightweight trail-running shoe.  I’ve dreamed and dreamed about a racing flat that can handle the dirt.  I don’t like to wear a shoe that weighs more than eleven ounces, and I am fortunate enough that my body can easily handle a light shoe that doesn’t offer a lot of cushioning or motion control.  I’ve spent years destroying my regular road shoes by taking them up in the mountains, through streams, over rocks.  I’m lucky if they last 250 miles in the backcountry, which meant a new pair of trainers every six weeks.  That gets expensive.  But I refused to wear the big, clunky, trail shoes.  They felt like combat boots.  So, I wasted money and fantasized about the perfect fit.

At last, at last, I’ve found the absolutely perfect shoe.  Ask anyone who runs seriously; the search for the dream shoe is an endless one (largely because manufacturers tend to discontinue one’s favorites every few years).    I wouldn’t accept advertising on this blog from most sources, but if Asics wants to advertise their gorgeous, perfect, incredibly sexy Gel Trail Attack IIs here at my eponymous site, I’ll let ‘em do it for free. (Yes, orange and blue shoes are sexy.  Ask my family and friends who went to the University of Virginia.)  In a decade or so of serious running, I have worn many brands and models, but I have never instantly bonded with a shoe as I have with the Trail Attacks.  I know that love at first sight isn’t supposed to happen to old married guys, but it has happened to me and I am deliriously happy.

I took four minutes off my best time, round trip, this morning.  Some of that credit goes to the training, some to the footwear.

If my wife would let me wear my new shoes to bed, I would.  Well, maybe not, but I’ll let them rest right beneath my bedside table where I can gaze at them fondly and pat them lovingly when she’s not looking.

Taking the “no scale” pledge, and a gym endorsement

First off this evening, I’ve gotten a few comments this week from John Swapceinski, the founder of Rate My Professors, below this post.  He’s defending RMP, and I’m honored (genuinely) that he stopped by.

This is the week we find out the truth.  Over the summer, I decided to try and kick my diet and exercise level up another notch.   I added another day of Pilates, kept three days a week of boxing classes, tried some new lifting routines, and upped my running mileage back up to around 45 miles per week.  My body has gotten much stronger and harder in the past two months, but at the price of a huge time commitment.  That was easy on a summer school routine, but now things get dicier: I’ve got seven classes to teach, my volunteer youth ministry picks up again, and I want to spend good quality time with my wife.  And I really want to find a way to average at least 7 hours of sleep per night.

I’ll report whether I can keep this up.

Whatever I’ve been doing diet wise and exercise wise, it’s working.  Though I am not as fast as I was in my hardcore running days of the late 1990s, I’m carrying much more lean muscle.  I feel fitter than I ever have.  And — this is the best of all — I  haven’t had a cold in months.  For years, I got a cold every couple of weeks (possibly because I was too thin and living off Power Bars and Diet Coke).   Now, I’m getting lots more fresh veggies, am pumping in lots of soy product and vegetarian protein supplements, and I feel great.

I’ve decided to take a break, however, from getting on the scale.  After all these years, I still have to fight against my compulsiveness and my anxiety.  The scale and the mirror are both triggers for me at times.  Years ago, when I was going through a particularly hard time around body issues, I had to take a "no-scale, no being naked in front of the mirror pledge".  The latter may seem particularly silly, but as embarrassing as it is to admit, I still battle "body image dysmorphia" day in and day out.  I’m no longer starving myself or mutilating my flesh, and that’s a plus. I like my body a lot these days.  But I realize I am in a better position to love it when I don’t study it too closely, or weigh myself too often.

I wonder — has my father’s death in June contributed to this noticeable uptick in an already exhausting workout schedule?  Am I avoiding productive grieving through exercise addiction, or am I appropriately channeling my pain into something healthy?

In any event, after once last climb on the scale this afternoon (177.7 pounds), I’m taking the pledge: no scales for the rest of 2006.  I see a few of my students and friends at the gym, and they see me.   A couple of them read this blog.  If you see me heading for the scale, folks, please feel free to stage an intervention!  I’ll buy you coffee if you do!

Oh, and let me make a plug for my boxing gym, which has just moved to a new location.  Pepe and Mauricio, who run Classic Kick Boxing, are two dear and amazing men; they’ve become good friends to us.  If you live in the Pasadena area and want to try learning this remarkable sport (or just want to get in better shape), give these lads a call.  In six months, they’ve given me a lot of laughs, made me sweat, and given me a pretty damn hard left hook.

Anniversary acorns

This morning, I did a very early run from the Eaton Canyon Preserve parking lot to the top of the Winter Creek trail on Mt. Wilson; it’s a solid 15-16 miles.  (First half all uphill, second half, all down).  I got a bit altitude sick, even though I turned around at about 5000 feet elevation.  I start to get light-headed at a mile high, which makes me quite a "lightweight" in the eyes of my friends.  I ran alone, always a questionable decision in the mountains, and it was very hot even at dawn.  I could feel the arriving humidity from Hurricane John as I climbed towards the summit.

But I don’t blog on a Sunday to share details of the run.  On my ascent I noticed these two spectacular and very large acorns, still on the branch, lying on the trail directly in front of me.  Anniversary_acorns (Click to enlarge the picture.)

I brought them home for my wife.  Tomorrow, September 4, is our first wedding anniversary; it has been a joyous, challenging, remarkable year.  I am blessed beyond all measure and beyond deserving.  The acorns will go on our bedside table.

Thursday notes: lion tracks, high mileage, dreaming of Billy Crudup, and rediscovering Robertson Davies

After having taught 20 classes in the past twelve months (seven per regular semester, three each in the winter and summer intersessions) I am enjoying the break until August 28.  I’m working on a book proposal — about which I’ll say more when that project is further along.  I’m spending lots of time outdoors in "my" mountains, and indoors at the movies.

Today’s movie recommendation: Quinceanera.  Filmed in and around nearby Echo Park, it’s a joy to watch.  I caught the matinee today by myself, and wept enthusiastically through the last fifteen minutes.

Early this morning, I ran up the Brown Mountain fire road and counted no fewer than three dozen rabbits.  Bunnies are among the chief joys of running just after dawn.  Near the top of the climb, I came across fresh mountain lion tracks, the first I’ve seen all summer.  Since it was still fairly near dawn, and I was running alone, I cast quite a few glances over my shoulder.  I don’t fear large mammals; the chances of getting attacked by a lion or bear in these hills are pretty remote, though I see their paw prints and scat fairly often.  The only creature I fear up there is Mr. Rattlesnake, and the earlier in the day I get the run done, the less of a chance I will find him sunbathing in my path…  I am terrified of snakes, so much so that I actually pick my running routes and times to avoid them.

This morning’s run wraps up fifty miles of running in the past six days, my best total so far this year.  I was once able to sustain this mileage for months at a time, but it’s really only on vacations that I can push that hard these days.  I need to find a fall trail race.

I had a very strange, vaguely sensual dream (no details, sorry) last night, the sort that lingers with you throughout the day.  One key tidbit: Billy Crudup was in it.  If someone makes a movie of my life, I want him to play me.  He’s also my answer to the question, "if you were going to change your sexual orientation for a celebrity, who would it be?"

I’m reading novels again too!  I’ve rediscovered Robertson Davies, one of my favorite writers when I was in grad school.  This week, I’m making my way through my favorite of his books, Murther and Walking Spirits.   I may get through the wonderful Cornish Trilogy again before school starts if I make a push.   Davies infuriates me and comforts me — and yes, his snobbishness strikes an uncomfortably familiar chord in my life.  It’s been long enough that I’ve completely forgotten the plots, which makes ‘em more fun to read.

And like everyone else these days, I’m listening to James Blunt.  "Wisemen" is in my head constantly; it’s also in the trailer for the new BIlly Crudup movie, so it all is connecting somewhere.

Back to the novel.  More reprints for the next 18 days, and then — Lord willing and the creek don’t rise — some inspired blogging again.

Floyd Landis, still a Mennonite?

Internet access on campus has been spotty this morning, so the first post of the day will be very brief indeed.

I’m a life-long Californian and a seventeen-year resident of Los Angeles County, and I’ve never before experienced heat and humidity like we had this weekend.  Yesterday, I went for my "long run" of the week at 6:00AM; at what is perhaps the coolest moment of the day, it was 79 degrees as I stepped out of my car to begin a jog up Brown Mountain.  Truly, deeply, profoundly unpleasant.  I note that my home town, Carmel, is one of the few spots in the nation that hasn’t hit 80 degrees once this summer.  I was very lucky as a child…

I made it home from my run in time to see the awards presentations following the Tour de France.  I am very pleased to see Floyd Landis win, not least because of his Mennonite background.  As I turned on the TV yesterday morning, I predicted that what Floyd Landis did during the national anthem (always played for the country of the Tour winner) would indicate the degree to which he still embraces his Mennonite heritage.

Mennonites, particularly traditional ones, don’t salute the flag or sing the national anthem.  Though much of the press coverage of Landis’ traditional upbringing has been interesting and accurate, I’m sorry that no one seems to mention that the Mennonites aren’t just conservative Christians.  In their commitment to voluntary simplicity, an abhorrence of all forms of violence (even in self-defense), and a disdain for displays of patriotism, Mennonites — like all Anabaptists — are radically different from what we tend to regard as the stereotypical American conservative Christian!  Many Mennonite schools don’t fly the US flag anywhere on campus — something that could hardly be said of most Reformed or Baptist private schools!

I was pleased to see that Floyd Landis stood respectfully, hands clasped in front of him during the American national anthem.  His posture was identical to that of the 2nd and 3rd place finishers, a Spaniard and a German.   71506227Click to enlarge.  Note that the American ambassador has his hand over his heart.

Lance Armstrong always put his hand over his heart during the national anthem (you can find such images easily on the web) after winning the Tour.

I may no longer worship in the Mennonite church (neither does Floyd), but I was pleased by what I was able to interpret from his stance yesterday.  Whatever he retains of his Anabaptist roots, he seems to remain committed to the principle that to be a Mennonite is to be a citizen of God’s Kingdom, not of an individual country.   His simple, respectful, humble refusal to engage in a patriotic ritual of pledging allegiance to but one corner of that Kingdom is admirable, and a sign perhaps that Landis is still, in some real sense, a true Mennonite.

Good on you, Floyd.

A brief mea culpa: the confession of a self-improvement junkie

It’s been a busy Friday, and I haven’t had much time at all to post.  I’m still thinking about modesty and responsibility, mind you, though I promise to be on to different topics next week. 

Despite the heat, I’m moving back into one of those phases of my life where I’m exercising more and paying more attention to my diet.  Whether it’s based on bad science or not, I’m doing well on the "eating for your blood type" regimen..  I feel stronger and leaner; I’ve cut most refined sugars and most white flour out of my diet.  I wasn’t eating meat to begin with, so that sacrifice is not significant.  But I am eating lots of beans and rice cakes and peanut butter and dried pineapple.  Fear not, my diet is more diverse than that — but those have recently become some of my staples.

I realize that one of the things that makes my blog tiresome to read is that I’m so obviously a self-improvement junkie. (I indeed do belong in Los Angeles!)  I’ve married a woman who happily shares my interest in ongoing transformation, and together, we get a lot done.  In a way, we’re distinctly immodest: we’re addicted to more!  Not more things, of course, but "more better". 

Yes, I’m deeply interested in being as physically healthy as I possibly can; I like following a healthy and even strict diet and working out daily.  I want to find my optimum level of fitness; I want my body to be as strong (and yes, as aesthetically pleasing) as possible.  But I’m also interested in becoming an ever-better teacher; I fiddle with syllabi and with lectures, always looking to see what can be done to improve my work.  I want to be a better husband; I am eager to become a more complete, caring, loving, partner and spouse to my wife.  I want to be a more effective community volunteer; I want to rescue more chinchillas, I want to reach more kids in my youth group.  I want to write books, and at long last, am close to starting on that process.  I want to make more money, and give more of it away.

I justify the amount of time I spend on improving my fitness by saying I work equally hard on teaching, my volunteering, and my marriage.  But does an increase in generosity in one area of one’s life justify an increased self-absorption in another?

When Christ came into my life, He came into the life of an addict.  Addiction, at its core, is about desire — and for as long as I can remember, I’ve had an abundance of that!  For things good and bad — drugs/women/faster marathon times/success/weight loss/greater spiritual awareness/greater opportunity to serve/what-have-you — my life from adolescence on has been about pushing for "more."  And that essential part of my nature hasn’t changed since I became a Christian.  I’ve switched addictions, mind you!  I’ve replaced self-destruction with self-improvement, and I confess that my commitment to the latter is almost as off-putting to some as the former!

It’s an old story, and my narrative is hardly a unique one.  But to friends, family, students, colleagues and strangers who read this blog regularly, let me take this opportunity to acknowledge that I can be an exhausting and exasperating man to be around, learn from, and read.  I’d say that I’m genuinely sorry, but I am not repentant about my fascination with stronger, farther, faster, better.  But I do sympathize with your annoyance.

I have a feeling that when, deo volente, we have children, lots of this will change.

More on bare chests and privilege

I’ve got one eye on the Mexico-Angola match, and another on the computer.  Once I finish this post, I will dive into some serious grading.  I’m still wracked with sudden and intense bouts of grief over Matilde, but that is to be expected.  No one said this would be an easy time.  (I can say that we may be adopting two older chins later this year from Michigan, but that is still tentative.  We are committed to these most extraordinary of animals, of course, no matter what — we just need much more time to celebrate Matilde’s life and cope with her unexpected loss.)

I’m taking a break from blogging about my views on teaching feminism; my attempts to explain (even when written after considerable reflection) only seem to exacerbate the gulf between my weltanschauung and those of many other feminists whose work I respect. (Violet’s response to yesteday’s post is here.)   We can continue to be allies even while we mystify each other, and I remain happy to be provoked and challenged by those whose ultimate goals I believe I share.

It seems an eternity ago, but it’s only been a week since my "Hey, put a shirt on!" post.  I did want to address an important point made in the comments beneath that post made by Helen.  She writes:

Frankly, I’m offended by men running shirtless, although it does depend on the situation (it really pisses me off in town but if I were out in the country or mountains I might not be as bothered, I don’t know). It’s just a smack in the face that I have to be so careful about what I wear and I’ll still get hassled, whereas there’s some guy running around half naked and confronting me with his naked chest. Of course, I’m not forced to look at him, but a mostly-naked person out of place (in a sea of clothes, sometimes) is likely to attract your attention before you look away.

I am curious as to how the expression "your rights end where mine begin" fits into this. I think you could argue that a man’s shirtlessness does actually infringe on other people’s rights and thus it’s not entirely unexpected that some people will respond negatively. I just try and ignore it when I see it and I’m not defending the person in the car who should have kept his comments to herself, but I thought I’d share my opinion on why that might have bothered her (especially since it was a woman).

Helen makes an important point.  As a man, I can (legally) run shirtless.  I run shirtless because it’s much more comfortable, particularly on longer runs, to do so.  I’d rather be a bit too cold than a bit too warm, and I can do without all the chafing issues that even a Coolmax shirt presents on a long run.  (And don’t get me started on horror stories about bloody nipples.)

But women can’t run with a completely bare chest.  For many women — perhaps most — wearing at least a jogging bra is essential for comfort.  But it’s possible that there are women who would be quite comfortable running entirely bare-chested, but aren’t allowed to do so thanks both to laws about public nudity and to cultural prohibitions.  Leaving the sport of distance running aside, it’s clear that there’s a double standard when it comes to the exposed chest in our culture.

One of the things about privilege is that it isn’t always enough merely to recognize it; one has to be willing to renounce it.  If I read Helen correctly, she’s suggesting that male feminists should think twice about running about bare chested  — not for aesthetic reasons, but for reasons of solidarity.  Until women have the same freedoms that men do, men should — whenever reasonably possible — avoid taking advantage of unearned masculine privilege.

I can think of a clear parallel to gay marriage.  I know two straight couples who have told me that they aren’t going to get married until same-sex marriage is legalized.  These couples believe that heterosexuals should make a conscious effort to renounce "special privileges" as an act of solidarity with their gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.  As one of my friends in one of these relationships put it to me, "You can’t simultaneously work to end injustice while benefiting from injustice.  While we all as privileged Americans benefit from injustice in ways we can’t avoid, we do have a choice whether or not to legally marry — and it’s a choice we should choose not to make until that choice is available to everyone."

I think that’s what Helen may have meant about men going shirtless in public.  I can wear a running singlet without too much discomfort; shouldn’t I be willing to do so in order not to enjoy a right that my sisters cannot?  On the other hand, it’s easy to take this to an extreme quickly: should I refrain from using a urinal in the men’s room because only toilets are available in the ladies’ loo? 

I’ll be running up the mountain bare-chested tomorrow morning, mind you, but I’m interested to hear what my readers think about naked chests and unmerited privilege.

Thinking about women, sports, and hazing

There’s been a fair amount of attention this week to the issue of hazing and women’s college sports teams.  Earlier this week, a website published a number of photos depicting the Northwestern University women’s soccer team conducting an initiation for new players.  The women are shown being forced to chug beer, give lap dances to members of the men’s soccer team, all while various words and pictures are drawn on their bodies.  This morning, the same site has pictures from a dozen other colleges and universities, almost all of which focus on hazing/initiation rituals involving various women’s sports teams.  All of the colleges involved have anti-hazing policies, and all (naturally) prohibit underage drinking.

I’m not giving the name of this particular website, though national newspapers like the New York Times have linked to it and it’s easy enough to find.  I looked at a few of the pictures on the site and then chose not to view any more.  In the national media, the faces of the women involved are obscured, but on the site that the Times linked to, they are in full view.  Though it was obviously foolish for the teams involved to photograph their hazing rituals and post the pics on the internet, I grieve the embarrassment the young women involved must now be feeling, and I have no interest in staring pruriently at the various details of their humiliations.

What I’ve seen tells me what I already knew: the kind of hazing that goes on on contemporary college campuses is more or less identical to what happened when I was an undergrad twenty years ago.  The essentials, then and now, are these: forcing the pledges/initiates/rookies/frosh to undress (at least to their underwear); forcing them to consume large amounts of alcohol; asking them to "perform" sexualized dances in front of members of the opposite sex.  The Northwestern University women were required to give lap dances in their underwear in front of members of the men’s soccer team — while the Quinnipiac College men’s baseball team is shown on the site stripping and dancing for a group of unidentified women.

As an adult who struggled with problem drinking for years, I am of course greatly concerned by any ritual that requires that folks consume large amounts of booze in a short period of time. I have no sympathy for those who see binge drinking as an essential rite of passage; I’ve seen the damage it can do to lives and bodies. 

As a feminist, I’m grieved to see that ritualized sexual humiliation is still such a vital mainstay of initiation practices.  It’s not new, of course.  When I was a freshman at Cal, I flirted with the idea of joining a fraternity (one to which my grandfather, a great-grandfather, and numerous uncles and cousins had belonged). In the end, I decided not to, both for reasons of principle and because I worried that I wouldn’t fit in with the fraternity culture.  I had lots of friends in the Greek system, however, and I heard their initiation stories.  One of my former wives was a Pi Phi in the late 1980s; she told me that she had never gotten over her hazing.  She recalled being stripped down to her underwear, and all the "actives" (members) of her sorority took magic markers and wrote on her body — circling areas that they thought "needed work" and writing commentary about her attributes.  She said she laughed at the time — but years later, she would still sometimes gaze at those parts and think about the criticisms and obscenities she had seen written there.

I’m a fierce fan of intercollegiate sports.  With the possible exception of golf, I love to watch men and women play any NCAA sport.  (I’m very excited about the upcoming NCAA women’s college world series, as I have a particular heart for softball.)  I know the good that sport has brought to my life, and I’ve seen it bring discipline, health, camaraderie, and character to a great many young people.  I’m not one of those professors who "goes easy" on the jocks, but I’m not someone who wishes that intercollegiate athletics would disappear, either.  And as a fan of sports — and former athletic department tutor at UCLA –  I’ve got at least a passing understanding of how vital it is to build close community on a team.

I think initiation rituals can be very valuable.  Requiring frosh or rookies to go through a series of steps before they are accepted as full-fledged members of the team is healthy.   It is axiomatic that to suffer together is one way to build community.  But not all suffering is the same!  Forcing the frosh to run extra laps or do extra push-ups or go through a weekend of brutal fitness camp can build community and fellowship just fine — all without a drop of alcohol and without a single lap dance.  Requiring frosh to put on silly skits that don’t involve vulgar humor, nudity, or intoxication can have a similar bonding effect.    The problem is not with the nature of sports teams/fraternities/sororities, or with initiation rituals — the problem is with a culture that connects that valuable process of initiation to ritualized sexual degradation and binge drinking.

One of the reasons that this sort of hazing troubles me so much is because it is so fundamentally antithetical to what sports can be in women’s lives.  The beauty of sports for women, at the high school or college level, is that it teaches women that their bodies are not merely decorative objects to be gazed at.  It teaches women that their sexuality and their potential reproductivity are not their greatest assets.   Sport — at its best — teaches girls that their bodies are strong, and powerful; it teaches the athlete that she can transform and control her flesh for her own delight as well as for the good of the team. It turns objects into subjects, turns the passive active.  I’ve seen sports from softball to track to soccer to basketball do that for countless women and girls in my life, and I rejoice in it.  And thus I grieve when I see young female athletes forced to use their bodies so differently — as objects of public, sexualized ridicule — all for the sake of creating community that could so easily be created in a different way.

I’m not at all sure that suspension is warranted in the case of the Northwestern women’s soccer team (and the other teams revealed today), but clearly, greater oversight and education are badly needed.

Boxing, MRAs, priorities

North Carolina beat Tennessee.  Darn it all.  My women’s bracket is now nearly wiped out; please, Lord, let Duke beat UConn.

A friend points me to the ultra-MRA lads at the Nice Guys Forum; they’re all very confused that I’ve started boxing.  In their infinite spare time, they’ve devoted a thread to me.  One of them writes:

All of that being said, I think I saw somewhere that Hugo was either considering practicing boxing or actually doing it. As someone who has sparred in contact fighting (including Thai boxing and grappling) I find it rather strange on his part. I though he criticized ‘traditional’ male activities like that . . . oh well.

Deal with it, fellas!  Really, I’ve been loving the boxing, though I still have a long way to go in learning technique.  My trainer Pepe has been amazing — in two months, he’s begun to transform my body and my skills.  Increasingly, I’m comfortable about the idea of hitting another human being without intending to hurt them.   If I think of boxing as "scoring points", I can imagine myself sparring with others without abrogating my commitment to non-violence. 

When I hit the bag, or my trainer’s mitts, I’m not fantasizing about hurting people. I’m not venting or letting out anger. When I started all of this training, I worried that it might make me more aggressive, or at least encourage violent daydreams.  (I’ve posted about this in an explanation of why I stay away from video games).  Happily, boxing three mornings a week with Pep leaves me tired but peaceful. I feel more in tune with my body than I have in a long time, and I rejoice in that.

When I add up how much money my wife and I spend on things like Pilates sessions and gym memberships and private boxing lessons, it’s a considerable expense. (And I’m about to add yoga into the mix.)  I go through a pair of running shoes every six to eight weeks. And yet, we don’t spend much on our cars.  I don’t spend anything on alcohol, because I don’t drink and my wife has only a rare glass of wine.  We don’t own a stereo system.  I have no idea what a Blackberry really does, or what Bluetooth is. Our TV is adequate, but unimpressive.  I have zero interest in spending much on entertainment, and realize that the amount of money I spend each week on working out is no more than some of my friends spend on going out.  We all have our priorities, I suppose!

I’ve got some more thoughts on immigration coming tomorrow.  And a long post about masturbation percolating in my head too, though that may wait a day or two.  And one about the first woman priest I knew well.  Sigh.  And now I’ve got dinner to make and a chinchilla to entertain and a wife to embrace — and I’m getting up at 4:30 tomorrow morning to go hit things before the sun comes up.

Hugo is slow, and crying doesn’t help

Well, that wasn’t much fun.

Today’s race was my fourth Los Angeles Marathon, my first since 2001– and by a considerable margin, my slowest.  (I finished in a 3:57, and had to trot to break 4 hours at the end.  In 2001, I ran a 3:30:45 at LA.) ) Age and weight gain have slowed me down, as has the fact that my friends and I do most of our running in the mountains, on more forgiving dirt.  We only did one long training run on pavement, and we all suffered today on the hard and cruel asphalt.  I ran the first fifteen miles with a good friend of mine, but she began to cramp and had to drop.  I passed two more of my normally much faster buddies as the race wore on.  I had several long periods of walking, plus one extended potty break.  The fact that most of the hills are in the second half, and that the sun was quite bright, didn’t help matters…

Though my favorite races have clearly become the mountain marathons and 50Ks, I admit I love running through the various communities of Los Angeles.  The folks whose view of LA has been formed by "Crash" (sorry to harp on this again) ought to have been out running today; more than 20,000 ethnically diverse runners running through a huge variety of neighborhoods, cheered on by passionate and warm crowds.  We had Korean drummers drumming, we had gospel music on Crenshaw, we had Native American dancers, we had salsa and rancheras blaring.  I heard "si se puede" over and over again, and was encouraged to press on in a dozen other languages.   

When I’m tired and in pain, I get sentimental — and twice in the second half of the race, the enthusiasm of my fellow runners and of the large and diverse crowds made me puddle up.  I started to cry at a water stop around mile 21, and some folks must have thought I was in physical agony.  I waved off their concern, but had to stop and compose myself.  Somehow, all of these people out in the bright sun just to cheer on perfect strangers seemed so wonderful and kind, it overwhelmed me. 

Los Angeles is my adopted home town, and I love it with every fibre of my being.  But as my friends and I decided after the race, we’re done with these darned paved big city races. It’s back into the mountains for us, and we’ll all be happier running on dirt.

After the race, I was so tired I took a little nap in the middle of the street.  My wife snapped this picture just as I was getting up.  Click to enlarge.

Done_2

More on family obligation and autonomy tomorrow.  And it was nice to come home to this bit of news about hoops, women’s progress — and women’s prowess.

Update:  It must have been a slow day or something.  I ended up just missing out on finishing in the top 10% (finishing 2076 out of 20,043), despite a sub-par performance — and I was easily in the top fifth of my age group.  I’d be prouder, but I think that big-city marathons attract a lot of walkers!  And big props to my running buddy Jannifer Heiner, who was the 45h overall woman in a time of 3:27. She had to wait for the rest of her miserable friends to stagger in.

Rituals

I’m in the midst of my pre-marathon rituals.  Eating, drinking, laying out my running gear.  Deciding whether to run shirtless or not (I will if the temps will climb above 55 degrees, even if I frighten small children); deciding which socks to wear.  Packing my gels and deciding whether to wear a water belt.

Every serious marathoner I’ve ever known becomes a creature of ritual sooner or later, and after a  great many distance events, I make sure mine include the following:

1.  No caffeine after 2:30PM the day before a race.  That means I can still work on my coffee until then.  After that, water, water, water.

2.  Bagels, bagels, bagels.

3.  A one mile run.

4.  Thirty pushups, forty crunches.  Nothing else.

5.  Anxious worrying about faint twinges in my muscles.

6.  My wife marking up my race bib with encouraging messages for me to read when the going gets tough.

7.  Listening to the Leontyne Price recording of "He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands", over and over again

Today, I’m also watching college basketball.  And flipping back and forth between the men’s and women’s tournaments.  Two fundamentally different but equally compelling ways of approaching the sport are on display with the men’s and women’s games, and as a fan, I appreciate both.  I’ve picked the Duke men and the Oklahoma women to win it all, but I really just enjoy all of the drama.  And it’s keeping me distracted.

Rising above the plateau

It’s a busy Wednesday, so this will be my only post of the day.  Given that I’ve put up so many over the past three days (including the one right below this one, the longest in a while), I figure it’s best to slow down.

The ongoing debate with my fellow feminists and pro-feminists about blog commenting rules has increased my traffic 50%, and I’m grateful.  The debate about what is and what isn’t appropriate to allow has spread across half a dozen blogs, and, I confess, tempted me to be rude.  I’m restricting as best I can.

One small note:

I’d been frustrated with my boxing lately.  For the past two weeks, I’ve been stuck at a plateau.  Session after session, Pepe (the trainer) kept telling me the same things "Keep your hands up", "torque your hips", "elbows in!" and so forth.  I felt frustrated, beginning to doubt the wisdom of all of this effort and expense.  This morning, the breakthrough day: my hips swiveled in rhythm with the punches; my toes pivoted, my combinations had accuracy and power.  For the first time in weeks, I felt myself getting tangibly better.

And of course, there’s a metaphor for faith in all that.  Running/cycling/boxing have all taught me the same thing: when we begin something new, our gains are rapid.  But after a while, we hit a plateau; we lose interest, we struggle to move out of our ruts.  Too many folks get tired and frustrated and walk away from their chosen sport.  But if we stick with it through the bad and dry and gloomy patches, we will have the glorious breakthrough days!  Our running will be smoother, our punches more effective, our certainty that we are God’s favorite suddenly restored and enhanced.  I may not be much of an athlete, but  my faith life and my private life and my sports life have all taught me that the plateaux and the dry seasons are inevitable.  The key to happiness, the key to success, is perseverance and the steadfast hope that the breakthrough is sure to come.  In the ultimately insignificant activity of learning to hit things more effectively, I had such a breakthrough this morning.  Gratias deo ago and all that.