Here’s a New York Times article guaranteed to make this vegan feminist groan: Be Yourselves, Girls, Order the Rib-Eye. (H/T: Feministing)
It begins:
MARTHA FLACH mentioned meat twice in her Match.com profile: “I love architecture, The New Yorker, dogs … steak for two and the Sunday puzzle.”
She was seeking, she added, “a smart, funny, kind man who owns a suit (but isn’t one) … and loves red wine and a big steak.”
The repetition worked. On her first date with Austin Wilkie, they ate steak frites. A year later, after burgers at the Corner Bistro in Greenwich Village, he proposed. This March, the rehearsal dinner was at Keens Steakhouse on West 36th Street, and the wedding menu included mini-cheeseburgers and more steak.
Ms. Wilkie was a vegetarian in her teens, and even wore a “Meat Is Murder” T-shirt. But by her 30s, she had started eating cow. By the time she placed the personal ad, she had come to realize that ordering steak on a first date had the potential to sate appetites not only of the stomach but of the heart.
Red meat sent a message that she was “unpretentious and down to earth and unneurotic,” she said, “that I’m not obsessed with my weight even though I’m thin, and I don’t have any food issues.” She added, “In terms of the burgers, it said I’m a cheap date, low maintenance.”
Yikes.
One serious problem in talking about veganism/vegetarianism in a feminist context is that so many people associate not eating animal products with the desperate attempt to conform to an ideal of thin-ness. Those of us who embraced vegan living out of a desire to live cruelty-free are keenly aware that there is a lamentable perception that others, particularly women, use the vegan label to mask an eating disorder. As is often pointed out, it may seem more socially acceptable for an already slender woman to say “Oh, I don’t eat meat or cheese, I’m a vegan” than for her to say “Oh, I’m on a diet.” The former suggests a commitment to justice and kindness; the latter suggests self-absorption and narcissism.
Of course, the reverse is also true, as the Times article suggests. If a popular perception develops that vegetarianism/veganism is simply a socially acceptable way of masking an eating disorder, than being an enthusiastic carnivore becomes a clever way to announce (like Mrs. Wilkie) that you’re “unneurotic.” It also subtly suggests a strong libido. There’s a strong (and may I say, as a vegan man married to a vegan woman, utterly false) perception that a woman with a strong appetite for steak may also have a stronger appetite for sex than a woman who avoids meat altogether. (Some Victorians certainly believed this, and discouraged female carniverousness for reasons that had damn all to do with animal rights.)
For those of us committed to gender justice and to animal rights, the challenge is to make the case that veganism has nothing to do with neurotic self-denial. We do need to do a better job (I know I need to do a MUCH better job) of making the case that living a life without consuming animal products can be a life filled with pleasure, delight, fulfillment. My own character runs to the Puritanical side these days, but I know plenty of vegans who are, as Martha Flach Wilkie claims to be, “unpretentious and down to earth and unneurotic.” It is possible to be very interested in the “pleasures of the flesh” while being firmly committed to not eating animals. The “female carnivore = sexy” trope is a false one.
The article notes that for some women
…especially those who are thin, say ordering a salad displays an unappealing mousiness.
“It seems wimpy, insipid, childish,” said Michelle Heller, 34, a copy editor at TV Guide. “I don’t want to be considered vapid and uninteresting.”
My wife is a salsa dancing, weight-lifting, Pinot-drinking, kick-boxing force of nature. There’s not a self-denying bone in her body; she does not share my censorious, neo-Calvinist outlook on the world. Her appetite for life and its pleasures is immense; it awes me and inspires me everyday. And though she was a carnivore for years and years, she joined me in a vegan commitment at the beginning of 2007. She’s loud and proud and unpretentious — and she’s living and eating cruelty-free. She’s the epitome of a healthy, happy, hedonistic vegan, and if there are two things she is most definitely not, it’s “vapid” and “uninteresting.”
Sigh.
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